Fruitcake Is Nature’s Way of Telling You to Stop Eating! A Rebel Deb’s Guide to Christmas Cooking.

For those of you who may not be from my area of origin, I have included a break down on your basic Southern-Christmas recipe for success. Please gather and mix the following for any small-town, Carolina holiday:

Butter beans

Sweet Potatoes

Beef Stew (roasted with Cream of Mushroom soup.)

Black-Eyed Peas

Candied Ham

Chicken Pie

Boiled Corn Cobs

String Beans

Cornbread (not that sweet, yellow, blue-and-white-box bullshit you Yankees make. No. I'm referring to flat, salty, fried cornbread cakes.)

Whole Milk

Butter

Barbecued, Sliced Pork Loin

Fried Okra

Fried Squash / Squash Caserole

Sliced Tomatoes (with salt to taste)

and, last but not least....

For Dessert: Deep-fried Cheesecake.

...did you hear that?

Yes. CHEESECAKE.

Deep Fried... no pesto, no humus, no "paprika", no shellfish. Only pure down home, heart-attack cuisine. So go suck on that, Rachel Ray. You can’t beat a good ol’ country Christmas dinner.

xo,
Rebel Deb