Thursday, December 11, 2008

Basic Rules for Southern Belles

1) First and foremost...Southern Belles do not perspire and never...never...SWEAT. They Glisten.

2) Southern Belles do not flirt, but rather flatter effectively.

3) Southern Belles do not pass gas. Well yes, they really do, but they look at the person next to them in shock and smile coyly. (a handy tip...if sitting in a restaurant and the NEED arises, wait until the bus boy is at the table...blame it on him....or if sitting on the veranda, always keep your poodle on your lap. If the NEED arises, do so demurely, then shoosh the dog away...handy tips)

4) Southern Belles are mistresses of sarcasm and sharp wit, but not to the point of being called a Smart Ass (OMI...did I say that???) be continued...

Rebel Deb


Monika? said...

the dresses are RIDICULOUS and sarcasm is a weapon and should be used as so and transcends the need to sensor oneself.

La Feroce Bete said...

Ha! Glisten was a scientific term until I was in college and some stupid hippy stunk up the dorm with patchouli and the worst BO I had ever smelled. She smelled like a middle school locker room. SHE did not glisten.