Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Countdown to '09! (in the meantime, here's the best and worst of 2008)

Well, it’s that time of year again, the end of the year. This means different things to everyone: The end of an era, the beginning of something new. I’m here to bring you what I deem the Best and Worst of 2008.


1. Barack Obama’s presidential win.

Democrats can now rejoice as the era of Bush comes to a close and the beginning of a new hope emerges as Obama takes office in early 2009. Finally, change we can believe in!

2. Lil Wayne lives up to his self proclaimed “best rapper alive” status

After much delay, the sensation known as Tha Carter III hit everyone with its alien synthesizers and undeniable beat. The album shows an array of artist collaborations and variations of tempo.

3. Gas prices hitting 5 year low

During the summer of 2008 gas reached over $4 in states across the United States. Flash forward 6 months and prices have plummeted, where some states are enjoying gas for under $2. Hopefully this trend will carry on into 2009.

4. Jenny Lewis’ sophomore indie rock album “Acid Tongue”

Jenny Lewis, former child star and current lead singer for indie rock band “Rilo Kiley,” created her 2nd solo album, Acid Tongue. Country riffs and Jenny’s ethereal voice, this album truly defines Lewis as a strong solo artist and defines her amongst the hipster elites.


1. Teenage girls in Massachusetts sign a pregnancy pact

Since when is being a teenage mother an aspired ideal by girls? Apparently at Gloucester High School 17 girls made a “pregnancy pact” to become pregnant and raise their children together. None of the girls are over 16 and a 24-year-old homeless man impregnated one of the girls.

2. MTV

From the continued unbelievable drama occurring on “The Hills” to the ending of the MTV’s only show about music, TRL, the once-influential channel is now going down the tube. From unrealistic “reality” shows to, well, more terrible reality shows, the channel needs to rethink their plans for the future.

3. The Economy

From bailouts to job loss, the economy has been in an unfortunate downward spiral. Although economists didn’t want to use the “R” word at the beginning of the year, it sure seems like things aren’t going so well. Hopefully things will bounce back up during 2009.

4. Sienna Miller

While the blonde beauty hit a peak both with her career as an actor and as a style icon back in 2006, 2008 just wasn’t the same. Caught cheating with a married man, Miller has a lot of things to think about in 2009, like why she’s becoming similar to her ex Jude Law.


Rebel Deb Monika

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Six Tickets to Great Skin!

Great skin doesn't require spending a fortune on some "miracle cream" made from rare seaweed from the Arctic Circle! It's all about simple good habits.

But let's approach those habits from the opposite direction:

What are the most damaging bad habits that I see time and time again?

1. Using a cleanser with harsh detergents: Many people assume that the suds of their vigorously foaming cleanser are a good sign -- surely they'll leave skin extra clean. Unfortunately, copious suds are generally a sign that your cleanser contains a harsh detergent, like lauryl sulfate, that strips skin of vital lipids. (And don't get me started on bar soap -- that is always a no-no.) Instead, look for cleansers that contain fatty acids and will actually fortify your skin, like Dove's ProAge products, or even simple cold cream. If you have particularly dry skin, I recommend cleansing oils, which remove dirt and makeup without disturbing your skin's natural protective barrier.

2. Not using a retinoid:
Retinol, a form of vitamin A, is the only topical ingredient proven not only to prevent lines and wrinkles but to minimize the ones you already have. Past the age of 30, I recommend seeing a dermatologist for a higher-concentration prescription retinoid (like Retin-A, Differin, or Tazorac, for example), but there are also many great over-the-counter creams that contain lower concentrations of retinol. I like Roc Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Night Cream, Neutrogena Healthy Skin Night Cream, and SkinCeuticals Retinol 1.0.

3. Spending too much on skin care:
Splurging on the beautiful packaging and luxurious scents of pricey boutique skin care lines can feel wonderfully pampering -- provided you know that it's absolutely not necessary for great skin. In fact, many of my favorite products are made by drugstore brands, because those companies have the large budgets for top-notch research and development. If you have to choose, put your money toward that prescription retinoid, and buy the rest of your regimen at the drugstore.

4. Getting facials: Yes, that's right -- you can strike facials from your skin-care budget and actually be doing your skin a favor! Studies show that as many as 80% of people break out after a facial. Aestheticians often don't know which products are right for the skin of each client, and may use ingredients that can worsen acne, or essential oils that tend to irritate sensitive skin. Even if you don't break out, there are really no long-term benefits to facials.

Cut that out, right now!

5. Washing your face at the wrong time: Always wash your face after you rinse out your hair products and conditioner in the shower, never before. Many conditioners contain pore-clogging isopropyl myristate and other hair products often contain coconut oil -- both are common acne-causing ingredients that you don't want to leave on your skin.

6. Not using sunscreen every day: Not just for your trip to the beach. Not just during the long summer days. Every day. Yes, it's important to be even more vigilant if you plan to spend lots of time in direct sunlight. But incidental sun exposure typically accounts for more of our lifetime exposure to ultraviolet rays than those days at the beach. Walking to and from your car, dashing out of the office for a sandwich, or sitting outside for a few minutes adds up -- make sure you're covered with at least SPF 15, every day.

Wishing you great skin!


Rebel Deb

Monday, December 29, 2008

Rebel Resolutions: A Debutante's Guide to the New Year

Ah, January 1st is only a few days away, and that means New Year's resolutions for many of us.

What's on your list? Let me guess....

1. Lose 10 lbs so you look better in your white gown.

Everyone knows that white makes you look fat. Why can't they let debs wear black? (Ahem, New York and Paris debs: You are SO lucky. You get to wear couture instead of cream puff.)

2. Practice your penmanship because who knows how many handwritten thank you notes are in your future.

BTW girls, there is NO END IN SIGHT of handwritten thank yous. You have 2 options: hire a calligraphist if you're loaded or suck it up and get a pen and custom stationery you love. Hint for those on the MRS track: only get your first name so that your monogram won't be obsolete as soon as you get knocked up. (see number 3.)

Which reminds me of a great joke.

Q. Why don't Southern belles attend orgies?

A: Because there are too many thank you notes to write!

and now back to those Resolutions...

3. Get the ring. At. All. Costs. BEFORE. Graduation.

4. Lose 10 lbs.

There you have it ladies, all you need to make 2009 the best year EVER!

Stay tuned for more on the New Year themed and how to throw a rocking party.

Rebel Deb

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Chillax, People! The Economy Will Bounce Back! A Rant by Rebel Deb Monika

Recession times have been hard on everybody, teens included. Many students have been experiencing the hard times in a wide spectrum of ways, from being denied minimum wage jobs to seeing parents fired from their jobs of 20+ years. It's all happened.

So what is a kid to do? How are you supposed to react when your parent comes back home and breaks the news of their lay off? Here are a few tips.

1. Be supportive.

I know it’s not the greatest seeing your parents upset about their job loss or trying to muster up the courage to look for a job and get denied. But you MUST be supportive to all your friends and family. Without your support, they'll just feel even worse. Taking time out of your schedule to sit down and have lunch with your parents, or volunteering in your community give a sad situation have a sweet note.

2. Be creative.

With hard times and money not flowing as strong as before, it’s time to reach within and use the skills you learned in 3rd grade art class- be creative. Whether or not we are in a bad economic situation, recycling is always a must. Reusing items also minimizes impact and saves money. Shopping vintage also is a fun quirky way to renew your wardrobe yet save extra cash. Also, it’s always fun to go out and search for treasures with a friend.

3. Be cool.

Never get too worried about what’s happening in the economy. Anxiety can set in during times like this, so just take a step back, breathe, and just remind yourself that dips in the economy happen to every generation. Things will settle down and life will go on!.


Rebel Deb Monika

Friday, December 26, 2008

Happy Holidays, betches!

Just a good old fashioned holiday hello from Rebel Debutante headquarters!

I want ya'll to know how much I've appreciated your patience and interest with my new brand, blog and newsletter mailings. Some of you may have already received the first Rebel Deb Diary in your email - and thanks for checking it out!

For those of you who've already gotten the Diary, don't worry - I haven't signed you up to receive every issue (that would be spam). But if you like what you see, I'd love to add you to my permanent list! So if you want the official all-access pass to all things Rebel Deb, be sure you sign up for my Rebel Deb Diary!

If you sign up, it's going to hit your email in-boxes every two weeks with the latest news, parties, appearances and updates about the book (and maybe an upcoming TV show) featuring your favorite Rebel Debutante!

And if that's just not enough, get more of the Rebel Debutante's snarky, sassy take on life at my OTHER Rebel Deb blog!

Last but not least, stay tuned for MAJOR changes to the Rebel Deb website -- I've got some exciting developments that will take place over the next few months for all you Rebel Debs out there.

And check out this pic of me in my brand new RD t-shirt along with Rebel Debs Lauren and Katrina at Oscar-winning screenwriter JP Shanley's party last weekend in NYC.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A Brief Anthology of Southern Sayings to Satisfy Your Deep-Fried Cravings!

Holler like a stuck pig. (someone’s mislead you)

I do declare. (…usually means nothing)

In high cotton. (rising up in society)

In a coon's age. (been a long time)

Like a bump on a log. (lazy and doing nothing)

Like two peas in a pod. (act and think alike)

Mend fences. (settle differences)

Scarce as hen's teeth. (no such thing)

Sight for sore eyes. (looks good to me!)

Stomping grounds. (familiar territory)

Sun don't shine on the same dog's tail all the time. (you'll get what you deserve)

That takes the cake. (surprised)

Too big for one's britches. (someone’s taking himself too seriously)

Two shakes of a sheep's tail. (done quickly)

Well, shut my mouth. (shocked and speechless)


Rebel Deb

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Alternatives to Shoe-Throwing: A Rebel Deb’s Thoughts on Settling International Disputes.

As alternatives to shoe-throwing, the UN has recently released their newest list of acceptable methods for settling international disputes.

In light of WWII's Geneva Convention, civilized nations who wish to resolve issues while avoiding damage to both foreign relations and expensive footwear may engage in the following:

1) Macaroni necklace-making

2) Hot-Dog Eating Contests

3) ABBA dance-offs

4) "Rachel Zoe Project" Drinking Games -- how many times does Rachel Zoe say "shut it down?"

5) Lemonade Stand-offs (no country may charge more than $.10 per cup)

6) Bake Sale-offs (walnuts not allowed in the brownies - Japan is allergic to them!) be continued...

Rebel Deb

Friday, December 19, 2008

Xmas North vs. Xmas South

Christmas in the North is pretty different than Christmas back home in Carolina, and it has nothing to do with the war between the states.

Here’s a partial list of my favorites from both!

Christmas North:

Ice Skating in Rockefeller Center

Fallen leaves in the East Village
That burning smell when someone’s using her fireplace for the first time MONTHS
Hot chocolate
Goodbye swimsuits, HELLO dessert!
Fluffy sweaters, tight leggings and knee-high boots – my favorite fashion combo!

Cuddling just because it’s cold
Dogs in sweaters!

Christmas South:

HUGE Christmas trees for sale on the side of the road
Christmas music on the radio
Parades down the middle of Main Street in downtown Burlington

Christmas parties with old girlfriends from Salem
My Aunt Elsie’s chocolate chip cookies
Kids building snowmen in their yards
Sledding down the big hill in front of my Granny Blanche’s house
Candlelit vigils at my hometown church on Christmas Eve

What are some of YOUR favorite Xmas activities – North or South?

Rebel Deb

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Rebel Deb’s Thoughts on Tacky Sweater Get-Togethers

Every Christmas, from the time I was born till I turned 18, my Aunt Lila would give me the same thing for Christmas:

A tacky Christmas sweater.

Oh, the horror!

First, there was the blue one with Rudolf the reindeer. Rudolf was drawn with puff-paint – a signature classic for any kid raised in the 80’s/90’s – with bells sewn into the sweater at the end of each antler.

So, besides growing up albino white and chubby with bad skin and coke-bottle glasses, I now had to JINGLE whenever I walked.

Then, she switched from Rudolf to Santa.

Santa’s head was always drawn right over my left boob (or shall I say, chicken breast), with his HUGE swelling stomach eclipsing the rest of the sweater.

One year, she got all high-tech on me. She took the “voicebox” out of a Teddy Ruxpin doll and IMPLANTED it into Santa’s belly.

Whenever I walked, he would go “ho ho HO!” and then – get this – the sounds of FAT ROLLS rubbing together would emerge. From my effing SWEATER.
So, basically, instead of jingling, I now JIGGLED.

Plus, I was forced to wear these sweaters to every single family get-together through the holidays, just to prove how much I appreciated and LOVED my Aunt Lila’s thoughtful (read: sadistic) gift!

Seriously, folks: How much social torment can one Rebel Deb endure?

Please, for the love of Pop Tarts and all that is bright and beautiful in this world…STOP the Tacky Sweater Get-Togethers before it’s too late!

Rebel Deb

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Dating 101: Six Ways to Make It Easier for You to Dump Someone

I recently had the following conversation with a friend:

"Every time I break up with my boyfriend, he freaks out. He showed up outside my apartment last time."

"Well sounds like you just have to break up and get it over with."

"Yeah, but it's not a good situation every time I do it."

I stopped and thought for a second. "Not a good situation?" Isn't that kind of obvious? How can anyone expect a breakup to be a good situation at all?

Breaking up can be a necessary evil in your dating life. But there are easier ways to do the whole process.

The first step is to adjust your mentality and recognize the situation:

1- You are not ruining someone's life; they will get over you some day.
2- If you don't break up quickly and honestly, it's unfair to you and the other person.
3- If you are even thinking about breaking up with someone, it's probably time to do it. Would you want to be with someone who was having second thoughts while you were madly in love with them?
4- It's going to be ugly and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

What's the best way to break up?

There is probably no best way. But there are a number of tactics that can help make it easier for both parties (even though both parties may not recognize it at the time).

Here are some good tactics to use for a "clean" break:

1. Make It Fast

The longer you take to get to the point (whether it's hours or days), the less they will take you seriously. And if you make it look like you're having a hard time going through with the breakup, they will think they can change your feelings or stick around in your life.

2. Be Honest

Don't sugarcoat the situation. If you're seeing someone else, tell them you're seeing someone else. My little sister broke up with a live-in boyfriend because she kissed another guy during a business trip. She told her boyfriend the deal -- it made it more concrete.
Avoid cliche's like "I love you, I'm just not in love with you." Guys don't understand this stuff. If you've lost feelings for them, just say it. They can't argue with that.
And avoid covering up -- "I just can't be in a relationship right now." Sure you can -- if you were still really into him, you'd be in a relationship with him.

Honesty will protect you in the long run, because the truth comes out eventually.

3. Don't Feel Sorry for Anyone

People will beg, cry, get angry, or shower you with guilt. Just keep going, try to ward off your guilt. It's just going to slow you down and prevent you from getting to your objective.

And never take someone back, or cancel breaking up because you feel sorry for them. Do you really want to stay with someone you feel sorry for?

4. Set Post-Breakup Rules

Let them know the deal: you won't be answering their calls or emails. You won't be accommodating them if they show up at your apartment. Eventually, if they have any personality and independence, they will stop bothering you -- but only if you stick to these rules.

If you lay these rules out at the time of breakup, then they can't say: "why are you ignoring my calls?" Don't tell them what they are allowed to do -- they can call you all they want, but if you have stated you won't be answering their calls then you are well within your rights when you don't pick up.

5. Stick With It

The more you take them back, the less seriously they'll take your breakup attempts.

6. Neutral Site

Never do it at your place. You want to be able to leave on your own time. Neutral places are the easiest locations to make a quick getaway. The longer you've been together, the more likely it is that you'll be required to do it in person.
Breaking up takes strength.

I have found that people who can't break up with someone they are no longer into are somewhat weak. Do what you want to do, and don't get swayed by the situation or the other person.

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Rebel Deb’s Response to “Alternative” Holidays

Maybe I’m insensitive. Maybe I’m just plain ignorant. But, I’m just gonna go ahead and say it anyway…

What the HELL is KWANZAA?

I get that Christmas is a Judeo-Christian holiday that was forced upon Africans (and, later, African Americans) by Europeans. And I totally understand that anybody has a right to celebrate whatever/however they want to – that’s totally cool with me.

I even have friends who celebrate nothing but “Festivus for the Rest of Us.” And I’m totally down with that.

BUT, as cool as it is to do your own thing…


I just don’t get some of the alternative holidays out there. And I have more than a few questions…

Where does Kwanzaa come from? What does the name mean? What does it involve – for example, is there a jolly, fat Kwanzaa Santa who delivers presents, too? Are there Kwanzaa parties where folks wear ugly sweaters with reindeer and Kwanzaa Claus on them? If not, what DO people wear to Kwanzaa parties? And what do people DO when they get there?

Next on the list: Chanukah. Or is it Hanukah?

Judaism? Totally cool. Most of my friends and my boyfriend are at least half-Jewish.

But take pity on a poor Gentile girl and clear some of this up, will ya?
How long is Chanukah? I’ve heard seven, eight, nine days – but what are the EXACT dates?

Also, do you get a new present EVERY SINGLE DAY during Chanukah? That sounds like a pretty expensive holiday – how big do these presents have to be? And do Jewish kids go to the mall to visit a Chanukah Santa and sit on his lap, too? What’s up with dreidels? Is it just a toy? Does it make music –or, better yet – is it SUPPOSED to? What do you eat at Chanukah parties? Is it like Satyr food, where there’s lots of challah bread and bitter herbs and stuff?

There’s also a heck of a lot of other, WAY more “alternative” holidays that ya’ll might not know about.

Here’s a few to get you started:

Amaterasu celebration, Requiem of the Dead (7th century Japan)

In late seventh century Japan, festivities were held to celebrate the reemergence of Amaterasu or Amateras, the sun goddess of Japanese mythology, from her seclusion in a cave. Tricked by the other gods with a loud celebration, she peeks out to look and finds the image of herself in a mirror and is convinced by the other gods to return, bringing sunlight back to the universe.

Requiems for the dead were held and Manzai and Shishimai were performed throughout the night, awaiting the sunrise. Aspects of this tradition have continued to this day on New Years.

Beiwe Festival (Sámi of Northern Fennoscandia)

The Saami, indigenous people of Finland, Sweden and Norway, worship Beiwe, the sun-goddess of fertility and sanity. She travels through the sky in a structure made of reindeer bones with her daughter, Beiwe-Neia, to herald back the greenery on which the reindeer feed. On the winter solstice, her worshipers sacrifice white female animals, and with the meat, thread and sticks, bed into rings with ribbons. They also cover their doorposts with butter so Beiwe can eat it and begin her journey once again.

Choimus, Chaomos (Kalash of Pakistan)

In the ancient traditions of the Kalash people of Pakistan, during winter solstice, a demigod returns to collect prayers and deliver them to Dezao, the supreme being. "During this celebrations women and girls are purified by taking ritual baths. The men pour water over their heads while they hold up bread. Then the men and boys are purified with water and must not sit on chairs until evening when goat's blood is sprinkled on their faces.

Following this purification, a great festival begins, with singing, dancing, bonfires, and feasting on goat tripe and other delicacies".

Hogmanay (Scotland)

The New Years Eve celebration of Scotland is called Hogmanay. The name derives from the old Scots name for Yule gifts of the Middle Ages. The early Hogmanay celebrations were originally brought to Scotland by the invading and occupying Norse who celebrated a solstitial new year (England celebrated the new year on March 25).

In 1600, with the Scottish application of the January 1 New year and the churches persistent suppression of the solstice celebrations, the holiday traditions moved to December 31.

The festival is still referred to as the Yules by the Scots of the Shetland Islands who start the festival on December 18th and hold the last tradition (a Troll chasing ritual) on January 18th. The most widespread Scottish custom is the practice of first-footing which starts immediately after midnight on New Years.

This involves being the first person (usually tall and dark haired) to cross the threshold of a friend or neighbor and often involves the giving of symbolic gifts such as salt (less common today), coal, shortbread, whisky, and black bun (a fruit pudding) intended to bring different kinds of luck to the householder. Food and drink (as the gifts, and often Flies cemetery) are then given to the guests. [13]

This next one was even practiced in my home state back in the 1800’s!

Junkanoo, Jonkonnu, John Canoe (West Africa, Bahamas, Jamaica, 19th-century North Carolina)

Junkanoo, in the Bahamas, Junkunno or Jonkanoo, in Jamaica, is a fantastic masquerade, parade and street festival, believed to be of West African origin. It is traditionally performed through the streets towards the end of December, and involves participants dressed in a variety of fanciful costumes, such as the Cow Head, the Hobby Horse, the Wild Indian, and the Devil.

The parades are accompanied by bands usually consisting of fifes, drums, and coconut graters used as scrapers, and Jonkanoo songs are also sung. A similar practice was once common in coastal North Carolina, where it was called John Canoe, John Koonah, or John Kooner.

John Canoe was likened to the wassailing tradition of medieval Britain. Both John Canoe and wassailing bear strong resemblance to the social inversion rituals that marked the ancient Roman celebration of Saturnalia.

Karachun (Ancient Western Slavic)

Karachun, Korochun or Kračún was a Slavic holiday similar to Halloween as a day when the Black God and other evil spirits were most potent. It was celebrated by Slavs on the longest night of the year. On this night, Hors, symbolising the old sun, becomes smaller as the days become shorter in the Northern Hemisphere, and dies on December 22nd, the December solstice.

He is said to be defeated by the dark and evil powers of the Black God. In honour of Hors, the Slavs danced a ritual chain-dance which was called the horo. Traditional chain-dancing in Bulgaria is still called horo. In Russia and Ukraine, it is known as khorovod. On December 23rd Hors is resurrected and becomes the new sun, Koleda. On this day, Western Slavs burned fires at cemeteries to keep their departed loved ones warm, organized dinings in the honor of the dead so as they would not suffer from hunger and lit wooden logs at local crossroads.

Long story short:
It’s all good, and all of these holidays sound like they’d be rocking good times! So, do your thing. Worship whatever, whomever, and celebrate whatever holidays you want (or not)…

But, please, throw a Gentile a bone? A little explanation would be nice.


Rebel Deb

Monday, December 15, 2008

First EVER Rebel Deb T-Shirt! On TV!

Now you can proclaim to the world your Rebel Deb-ness!

Whether you're hanging at home or dressed up (with pearls perhaps?) this acid washed t-shirt is fitted and foxy with metallic gold writing that says classy and sassy.

Rebel Debutante and "Confessions" publicist Lauren Fritsch will make her debut on Showtime in 2009. She filmed an episode for "I Can't Believe I'm Still Single" with director/writer/producer/actor Eric Schaeffer wearing her Rebel Debutante shirt in Denver last week.

If you want one, shoot an email with your size to for now, and they'll be up soon on our new e-commerce website!

Rebel Deb

Magenta "Rebel Debutante" t-shirt, $38

Dating 101: Seven Warning Signs of a Troubled Relationship

When is it time to say, "My relationship is in trouble, and we need help?" How do you know when that time is?

When couples wait too long to ask for help, the relationship may be beyond repair. The sooner help is sought, the better chance there is of recovering, saving and actually strengthening the relationship. This includes issues dealing with affairs or other types of betrayal.

The longer we wait, the more entrenched we get in destructive patterns and resentment and all hope for change is lost. At a certain point we don't even want change... we just want to be done.

The seven warning signs that a relationship is in trouble are:

1. Fighting has become the rule rather than the exception to the rule.

2. You find yourself looking outside the relationship for comfort, care, and

3. You can't remember what attracted you to your partner in the first place.

4. There is little or no intimacy in your relationship -- sleeping in different rooms or different beds, lack of interest, anger, and hostility so that intimacy is out of the question.

5. Spending very little time together, friends seem to be more important than your partner.

6. Reactions to situations are disproportionate to the content of the disagreement (i.e., feeling your partner doesn't love you because she/he didn't like the meal you cooked).

7. Feeling helpless and hopeless to change anything. Feeling done with the relationship, but unclear as to where to go and what to do. Feelings of anger, resentment, pain, and desperation are predominant.

If any or all of these describe you in your relationship, your relationship is in trouble and it won't be long before something more drastic happens, such as an affair, arguments get worse and inflate with intensity, increased jealousy, silence for longer periods of time, and sometimes even physical and/or verbal abuse.

Before your relationship reaches that critical crisis point, look at the warning signs and do something before it's too late:

1. Seek psychotherapy

2. Read books

3. Talk to a spiritual/religious advisor

Without help, the relationship will never get better with time; once a certain level of resentment, anger, and hostility hits, it will simply get worse and worse. Avoiding a total crisis and saving the relationship is done by knowing when you're in trouble and taking immediate action.


Rebel Deb

Friday, December 12, 2008

Gifts For Your Guy: Make the Man in Your Life Feel Loved

1. Magnetic Grill Light
No ladies, this is not a miracle hair dryer, but it does mean your man might make you dinner more often! Grilling enthusiasts will be able to flip burgers long after sundown with this magnetic grill light, which attaches to grilling tools — he'll never mistake medium-rare for well-done again. ($25)

2. Remote Control Helicopter

Boys will be boys, and this remote-control helicopter will give your man hours of high-flying entertainment. ($19.99)

3. Braun Series 1
This shaver is the key to keep shaving simple and effortless for an irresistibly smooth face, which is a huge bonus if you're like me and have sensitive skin. No more tell-tale signs that you've been sucking face all night long. That's so middle school. Series 1 is washable and has an attractive new ergonomic design. (Starting at $39.99)

4. Ear-Warming Headphones
Help your honey stay hot! These clever ear warmers have a pair of mini speakers, so he can listen to his music and keep his ears warm at the same time. For warmth without the sound, just remove the detachable cord. ($34.95)

5. 12-in-1 Emergency Companion
Not that he ever finds himself in an emergency — but just in case — this device is equipped with 12 features like a LED flashlight, flashers, radio, panic button, compass. Gadget geeks will love it, but it does not guarantee that he'll stop to ask for directions! ($19.99)

If tech toys are not your bag, then you can always hand knit him a scarf. Remember: it's the thought that counts!


Rebel Deb

Basic Rules for Southern Belles, Part II

5) A Southern Belle, even when she has seen or heard something a thousand times, will always respond with "OMI...That was clever, but what would my daddy say?"

6) Southern Belles never blow their noses in public. They excuse themselves to clear their sinuses.

7) Southern Belles never chase after a man... they connive a man into chasing THEM. And then they act totally surprised when "caught."

8) Southern Belles do not call men on the telephone. EVER. Period.

9) Southern Belles never eat large amounts in public... they only nibble and say that they aren't hungry. (A Southern Belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiance status that a Southern Belle orders everything on the menu!)

Rebel Deb

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Basic Rules for Southern Belles

1) First and foremost...Southern Belles do not perspire and never...never...SWEAT. They Glisten.

2) Southern Belles do not flirt, but rather flatter effectively.

3) Southern Belles do not pass gas. Well yes, they really do, but they look at the person next to them in shock and smile coyly. (a handy tip...if sitting in a restaurant and the NEED arises, wait until the bus boy is at the table...blame it on him....or if sitting on the veranda, always keep your poodle on your lap. If the NEED arises, do so demurely, then shoosh the dog away...handy tips)

4) Southern Belles are mistresses of sarcasm and sharp wit, but not to the point of being called a Smart Ass (OMI...did I say that???) be continued...

Rebel Deb

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Cotillion Sucks!

So, last night I'm trying to get some reading done at a local Starbucks, when a hoard of sweet-sixteen-year-olds comes tromping into my quiet space in the back.

In typically redneck Southern style, they're all wearing rather tragic impressions of their parents dress clothes for the Alamance County Country Club Cotillion Dance...

Well, if their parents were drag queens, of course.

This dance is hosted yearly by my hometown's local Country Club, and as my Grandparents are members, I, too, was once forced to attend said Cotillion Dance.

Seeing them brought back painful, yet lovely, memories...of my being the COOLEST girl in TOWN, simply by giving less of a shit about this dance than anyone else I knew. That...and I was hot. What can I say? It's the truth.

I remember my Mother bought me this tiny black dress with slits cut into the back of it, and the highest pair of stiletto heels my teenaged feet had ever dared to slip into. I spent about two hours waiting for her to finish primping my hair and make-up...all while grumpily reading a magazine and wishing the whole evening far, far away. I loved my Mom's effort, but please...the boys in town were inbred, farm boy duesch-bags unfit to walk erect. And they knew it.

So, two hours hair sufficiently curled and shellacked with approximately three pounds of hair entire body perfumed with enough Coco Chanel to raise the dead...and I was off to the party.

My date, as I remember, was this hot-shot boy from out of town...I think his name was Brian, but what truly sticks in my mind is his long, blonde sideburns and Kurt Cobain-ish sensibility. The perfect date for a "fuck em all" sort of nighttime affair.

At the dance, I remember all the local cheerleaders and jock-assholes staring at Brian and I as we walked across the floor. Simply FYI: they were staring at me because I was only NEWLY hot. For about fifteen years previous to this one, I was the known Fat Kid...about 5'2", 140 lbs, with thick glasses and bad skin. Miraculously, when I turned sixteen, puberty hit: I grew 5 inches, lost 30 lbs., got contact lenses, and my skin finally cleared up. They were a bit astonished. Brian never knew what I looked like before that night, really, because he'd only just moved into town and entered our high school that year, so he was clueless. Walking across the floor with everyone staring at us that night, however, he was pretty puffed up, as I remember.

Anyway, we had a great time and made all the stuck-up princess bitches and their redneck frog princes jealous. It's a good, yet painfully awkward, memory of my youth.

And last night, when I saw that big troupe of ridiculously push-up-bra-ed girls and they're pimply-faced dates tramp through here, I felt a bit nostalgic. And, in a way, I silently forgave the idiot kids I knew in my youth...all those teenagers staring at me as I crossed the floor, newly hottied and all. Because looking at these modern-day kids, I realize that Cotillion dances suck for everyone...the popular and the not-so-popular...the old hottie and the new...because nobody likes crossing that dance floor in life.

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Calling All Rebel Debs!

Got something betch about? Rant about? Rave about? Got a favorite fellow Rebel Deb you wanna call out?

Well, now's your chance!

I'm taking submissions for my new, revamped website -- -- featuring submissions from all of YOU.

It's simple...

Just send your rants, raves and betches to and I'll pick the best to post on the NEW site.

All you need is a snarky/sexy/cool attitude and a Rebel Deb name and you're in the running for a featured spot.

So give it a shot! You got nothin' ta lose.

In the meantime, betches... stay Rebel. Stay Deb. Either way, stay true to yourself.

Rebel Deb

Monday, December 8, 2008

Introducing the Rebel Deb's Diary!

Hey there, betches!

So, this Wednesday my new Rebel Deb Diary will be hitting your email Inboxes...

Get ready for news, updates and snarktastic events a la your Favorite Rebel Debutante. Upcoming events include a spot on Showtime TV, new merchandise hitting the website -- -- and appearances across the South at all your local boutiques!

Soon, I'll also have links to sign up for the Diary, preorder my book, "Confessions of a Rebel Debutante," and discounts on all Rebel Deb t-shirts, shorts, panties and party goods... as well as details on how you can submit your OWN Rebel Deb rant, rave, quote or betchy blog.

So come check it out!

If you'd like to receive a copy of the Diary and don't think you've already made the list, just send your email address to my fellow Rebel Deb, Lauren...

...and she'll put you on our email list TODAY.

Till then, betches... stay Rebel. Stay Deb. Either way, stay true to yourself.

Rebel Deb

Sunday, December 7, 2008


So it has been written, so it shall be...


21. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

22. If a buddy is outnumbered, out manned, or too drunk to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What this guy needs is a good ass-whoopin", then you may sit back and enjoy.

23. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting:

"Yeah, baby, push it!"

"C'mon, give me one more! Harder!"

"Another set and we can hit the showers."

"Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"

24. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.

25. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you better be referring to his beer.

26. Never join your girlfriend/wife in dissing a buddy, except when she's withholding sex pending your response.

27. Never talk to a man in the bathroom unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.

28. If a buddy is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.

Rebel Deb

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Washing Out the Fat Rolls: A Rebel Deb’s Thoughts on Puppy Love

I hate to say it, but I'm having puppy problems.

My one-and-a-half-year-old pooch, Jax, is a loveable black lab who sheds all over my East Village apartment like it’s going out of style. He loves chicken jerky, bacon bits, peanut butter, long walks on 2nd Avenue, and cuddling during my all-time favorite mindless Reality TV show, “Rock of Love”…

However, Jax is also a very lonely puppy.

As anybody who owns a pet (especially a dog) in a big city knows, apartment pooches are the equivalent of only children.

And as an only, I know this firsthand.

If I’m working all day and unable to walk him more than once, or if I’m late getting home and we show up at the dog park near Tompkins Square past 10pm, he ends up restless. Full of energy from a day of doing not so much. And then, of course, he whines and paces the floor all night while neither of us sleeps.

Sometimes, when I'm REALLY late, Jax throws temper tantrums and chews up expensive stereo equipment, shoes, CDs, etc.

...And I can't blame him.

So, I’ve decided to get Jax a friend. Specifically, an English bulldog.

Why an English bulldog, you might ask?

Well, I’ll tell you: They’re stocky, chubby, loveable, and extremely playful. Plus, they have these super-cute jowls that hang down like old Irish men.

For some reason, I’ve always found short, fat things covered in fat rolls ADORABLE. Why I’m not dating a sumo wrestler, I’ll never know.


When I mentioned my puppy love to my friend, Danielle, she agreed with my choice of pet.

The only problem, she said, that you have to WASH your bulldog puppy's fat rolls. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

And why?

Because the poor things are so fat and wrinkled that they gather dirt in between their rolls. So, if you don’t wash your poor puppy, he’ll start to smell.

Still, I love the idea of scrubbing a fat little sumo-doggie clean in my bathtub. Or watching him wrestle with Jax before bed.

“At least you’re not getting a Shitzu,” Danielle replied when I told her about my newfound puppy love. “Especially a GIRL Shitzu. They think they’re people. If they see another dog they don’t recognize, they’re just like…’I don’t like you,” and they walk away. They’re just like this bitchy, stupid girl I know. Her name is Caroline.”

And there you have it, folks. Enjoy the puppy love – for bulldogs, or otherwise. Just stay away from the Caroline dogs of the world.

Rebel Deb


So it has been written, so it shall be...


11. Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.

12. Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.

13. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.

14. If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem--you didn't see nothin'.

15. The universal compensation for buddies who help you move
is beer.

16. A man must never own a cat or like his girlfriend's cat.

17. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sports event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

18. When your girlfriend/wife expresses a desire to fix her whiny friend up with your pal, you may give her the go-ahead only if you'll be able to warn your buddy and give him time to prepare excuses about joining the priesthood.

19. It is permissible to consume a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless supermodel... and it's free.

20. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

Rebel Deb

Friday, December 5, 2008

Gifting Your Guy: A Rebel Deb’s Guide to Boyfriend-Shopping.

Every Christmas, one of my girlfriend’s inevitably has a new boyfriend.

And every Christmas, she asks the same question: What’s the “right” kind of gift for my new guy?

…Well, that all depends, ladies. First, there’s his style, his attitude, his likes and dislikes…but most importantly…

How long you two have been together.

To make this simple, here’s a timeline for gift-giving your beau (new or old) during this holiday season:

1 – 6 months:

You’re still in that honeymoon stage, so keep it fun, light and most of all – SEXY. Maybe a new cologne, if he’s into tasty smells. Or a new copy of his favorite movie or album to show you’ve done your girlfriend homework. You get extra credit for the personal touches: Gifts for his prized pup, bird, cat, car, etc.

7 months – 1 year:

Okay, so you’re moving into comfy, cozy land… and maybe considering moving in together, too. You’re getting more serious, and so should your gift-giving. It’s time for a bit more investment, both thought and pocketbook-wise. What catches his eye in a store window? What does he whine about when he thinks you’re not listening? What does he keep saying he’s “saving” for, yet never seems to splurge on? Whatever it is, it’s time. To splurge, that is. Especially when you two hit that one-year mark, if you’re ready to make it a year and a day, then get ready to fork over the cash for that new watch or X-Box 360 or whatever it is that symbolizes – to both of you – that you’re in it for year two…

Which brings us to the biggie:

1 year +:

As my Mr. Man once said, “A year is so special because it means you’re in the market for many more.”

And that, ladies, means your gift needs to mature along with your relationship. At this point, it’s less of a “splurge” and more of an investment in the two of you. So, buying something like that new lay-z-boy he’s been eyeing or a 42” 1080p flatscreen isn’t out of the question. In fact, showing how much you care might even prompt him to pop another one, if you know what I mean…=]

Rebel Deb

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Presenting... THE MAN CODE, Part I.

This is it. So it has been written, so it shall be....


1. Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.

2. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.

3. Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.

4. When you are queried by a buddy's wife, girlfriend, mother, father, priest, shrink, dentist, accountant, or dog walker, you need not and should not provide any useful information whatsoever as to his whereabouts. You are permitted to deny
his very existence.

5. Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

6. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50 percent without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400 percent).

7. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.

8. The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.

9. Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.

10. No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay. be continued...

Rebel Deb

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Fruitcake Is Nature’s Way of Telling You to Stop Eating! A Rebel Deb’s Guide to Christmas Cooking.

For those of you who may not be from my area of origin, I have included a break down on your basic Southern-Christmas recipe for success. Please gather and mix the following for any small-town, Carolina holiday:

Butter beans

Sweet Potatoes

Beef Stew (roasted with Cream of Mushroom soup.)

Black-Eyed Peas

Candied Ham

Chicken Pie

Boiled Corn Cobs

String Beans

Cornbread (not that sweet, yellow, blue-and-white-box bullshit you Yankees make. No. I'm referring to flat, salty, fried cornbread cakes.)

Whole Milk


Barbecued, Sliced Pork Loin

Fried Okra

Fried Squash / Squash Caserole

Sliced Tomatoes (with salt to taste)

and, last but not least....

For Dessert: Deep-fried Cheesecake.

...did you hear that?


Deep Fried... no pesto, no humus, no "paprika", no shellfish. Only pure down home, heart-attack cuisine. So go suck on that, Rachel Ray. You can’t beat a good ol’ country Christmas dinner.

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Rebel or Deb, You’re Never Exempt From These Fashion Rules!

Fashion Overkill: I often see over-zealous fashionistas who get on board with a “look” and then run it into the ground, beat it with a heavy stick, and essentially ruin it.

Example, you like animal print, it is all the rage, so you wear head to toe leopard.

Bad, very bad.

Fashion is a fabulous thing, in moderation. Take a look of the season…whether it is leather, leopard, vintage, or plaid, and make it the ACCENT of your outfit, but not the ENTIRE outfit!

Age Appropriate Attire: I’m not advocating that you dress stuffy or grandma-esque just because you’re over 25, or 35, or 45, BUT please ladies, NO ONE needs to dress like they are part of Brittany Spear’s entourage.

Even if your little sister says it looks cool, don't believe her: It doesn’t.

Tasteful is the key to any fashion outfit.

For teens, fashion dictates what they are whether it looks good or not. Thankfully, as I get older I get wiser, I realize what looks good on me isn’t necessarily just what teenagers are strutting around in (i.e.: extreme low-rise jeans just aren’t for everyone)...

As you get into your twenty-to-thirty-something years, ladies, sophisticated should replace cute; subtly sexy should replace skimpy.

Invest In Shoes: Nothing ruins an otherwise fabulous outfit like a bad pair of shoes.

You can’t get away with cheap looking shoes, so buck up and buy a couple of pair of really expensive, and fabulous shoes.

If you have a sea of cheap shoes piled in the bottom of your closet that include anything that isn’t real leather, has huge clunky heels, or was purchased before 1990---THROW THEM OUT immediately!

You need 5 pairs of shoes (I'd prefer 50, but that is indulgent so I'll insist on a minimum of 5 really superb shoes):

1. high boots

2. low boots

3. flats

4. kitten heels

5. a pair of cute tennis shoes.

Plumber’s Crack: I can’t understand how this happens really…..don’t you gals feel the wind on your cheeks? But, sadly it does in fact happen all too often.

Those low rise jeans and pants are leaving you exposed when you sit down.

Ladies, here is the deal, do a test sit the very first day you bring home those new jeans or pants. Try them on with tops that hit at your natural waist, try them on with tops that hit just above your natural waist and see your level of exposure and then dress accordingly.

Do not get caught butt naked (literally) at Starbucks and then fiddle with your shirt trying to gain a square inch of coverage became you look silly AND every guy that walks in is trying to sneak a peak at the goodies.

Lowrise Isn't For Everyone: It is a common mistake, jumping on the "latest" and greatest trend and holding on for dear life.

Lowrise jeans have become the "norm" now and it is hard to find a pair of jeans that hit anywhere in the vicinity of your belly button.


The problems that can arise: if you have short legs, they look shorter. If you have a wide hip/butt area, the jeans may cut right across your widest place and make it look narrow and wide. If you have a lot of mid-section "junk" it can ooze over the top of low-rise jeans and cause unsightly bulges under your favorite fitted shirt.

I love my low-rise jeans, don't get me wrong....but my word of caution is to find the "right rise for your body" vs. making the assumption that everyone actually looks better in low-rise!

Rebel Deb

Monday, December 1, 2008

Commando Barbie Kicks Malibu Barbie’s Ass! A Rebel Deb’s Panty Raid.

How to Avoid Common Fashion Mistakes...

Panty Lines:

Embrace the thong:

... or in the alternative, her sister and partner in banishing pantylines, the boyshort:

I know that some of you "old school" bikini gals haven’t made the leap to the 21st century, but you need to get on board and learn to love the thong and/or boyshort.

There is nothing worse then panty lines...and trust me, if you wear bikini style undies, you’ve got panty lines (maybe you can’t see them when you stand perfectly still, suck in your stomach and turn your head toward the mirror behind you…but trust me, when you walk they are THERE)!

Finding a pair of thongs that your bum doesn’t reject as altogether uncomfortable can be tricky.

Some recommendations:

Hanky Panky Wrapped Lace Thongs, which are also available in a low-rise style that is perfect for the 7.5" and low rise jeans.

The Her Look Enterprises Commando Thongs are a miracle in a box!

They are as comfy as they are invisible, the best panties yet for wearing under all the slinky silk jersey and fine knits.

Bad Rack:

I hate to be crude, but the other thing that ruins an outfit STAT is the “bad rack”…a phrased coined from my beer drinking, football watching counter-part...MEN.

I can’t deny that some of my cohorts out there are walking around oblivious to the “bad rack” issue.

The truth is, you need to make sure that the "girls" are all harnessed.

If you are busty, don’t let them hang way out to the side (find a bra that brings them in and up). If you are droopy, find a bra that gives you shape and elevates.

We aren’t talking an issue of big or small here ladies, we are talking about maintenance of what you have. The other issue concerning the boobage area…bras that dig into your back fat (sure sign that you are wearing the wrong size bra.) As unpleasant as it sounds, we all have a little of it (even twiggy over there in a size 0).

Long story short:

If you any have bra lines, get fitted for a better bra. If you STILL have bra lines you need to wear a layering cami to camouflage it!!

Rebel Deb

Sunday, November 30, 2008

things you'll never hear a true redneck say:

We don’t keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

You can’t feed that to the dog. I thought Graceland was tacky.

No kids in the back of the pick-up, it’s not safe.

Wrasslin’s fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We’re vegetarians.

Do you think my hair is too big?

I’ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

Honey, these bonsai trees need watering?

Who’s Richard Petty?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

Spitting is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn’t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I’ll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

I’ve got it all on a floppy disk.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

My fiancee, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany’s.

I’ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

She’s too old to be wearing that bikini.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

Hey, here’s an episode of “Hee Haw” that we haven’t seen.

I don’t have a favorite college team.

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Elvis who?