The Real Rebel Deb... in Her Natural Habitat

many thanks to my photographer, Stephanie King!
www.slkphoto.com

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Lassie!

Hells yes, Lassie is a girl! And though she has an IQ of 14 and only four, non-opposable digits on her massive paws, she still manages to flip a huge bird to gender stereotypes. What's that, Timmy? Only men can be rescuers on circa 1960 television dramas, did you say? Yeah, well. Looks like somebody'll be leaving you locked up for a little while longer...

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Rebel Deb's Comin' to Little Rock!

If you're in the Little Rock area on April 9th or 10th, please join me for Friday's beautiful soiree (did I mention the cash bar?), followed by Saturday's reading and solo discussion with your very own Rebel Debutante!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

"I Give You Two Kitties Tomorrow for One Kitty Today?"

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Rebel Deb's Gettin' Some Skirt! (Magazine, that is.)

Read the Rebel Deb's latest write-up in this month's issue of Skirt! Magazine...

They like me! They really, *really* like me!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

What Would Happen if Women Ran Wall Street?

Testosterone and Risk

from NY Magazine
By Sheelah Kolhatkar

"Early in the morning on a typical weekday, men can be seen resolutely streaming down lower Broadway, braced against a pulverizing wind. They are preparing to enter their office buildings, put on their headsets, flick on their Bloombergs, and go to war. And if they look miserable—or weary, frustrated, angry, or petrified—it’s because they have one of the most emotionally taxing jobs in the world. Playing the market is a constant ricochet between panic and euphoria. There’s a reason the burnout rate is high. But the formula for succeeding in a high-stress financial environment is simpler than you might think. If you ask a trader, or someone who studies them, what the single most important factor is in determining whether a person will be good at trading, they will say that it’s the ability to control one’s emotions.

The trouble for all those men pouring into the trading desks is that recent studies suggest purely rational behavior may not come as naturally to them as gender stereotypes would suggest. A couple of weeks ago, for instance, the investment-management company Vanguard released data showing that men were more likely than women to sell stocks at the bottom of the market. Could it be that the fairer sex is better able to ride the ups and downs of Wall Street without letting their emotions get in the way?

“There were always very few women on the floor of the exchanges,” says a hedge-fund manager named Henry Lee, who spent years on the floor of the American Stock Exchange. “But the women who were successful at it were unbelievable.”

Lee is sitting at a trading desk with his friend Harley Evans, a derivatives trader at a firm called Mako Financial Markets, talking about gender differences in their line of work. “They never got ruffled, never got upset,” Lee continues. “Losing their temper? Never.”

“I think women can be very emotional, too,” Evans says, not entirely convinced.

“Women respond to stress differently,” Lee says. Rather than throwing the phone across the room, “women cry.”

“Well, I’ve cried, too,” Evans says.

“Not that I’ve seen. You cried alone in your closet,” says Lee.

“I cried in my beer.”

“The notion of taking chances is definitely more male,” Lee says. “Look, men are much more willing to take a shot on something with incomplete knowledge.”

So, I ask, how would Wall Street be different if there were more women making decisions? Lee offers an analogy based on the fact that he’s going through a divorce: “I would say that when you’re married, your life is much more level,” he says. “And when you’re single, you tend to experience many more swings. For example, you might not go skydiving if you’re married, or go out drinking all night with your buddies, or you may not pursue that Ironman.” Having women around, in other words, “prevents extreme behavior—or irrational exuberance.”

Despite what we’ve been led to believe, the market isn’t rational or efficient at all—it’s all about feelings. The major plot points of the crisis largely turned on emotion: Dick Fuld was too egotistical to sell Lehman Brothers when he had the chance, so his pride drove it into the ground; Bear Stearns hedge-fund managers lost huge sums of money on subprime mortgages despite the fact that they suspected the worst (“I’m fearful of these markets,” Ralph Cioffi e-mailed a colleague back in 2007); Merrill Lynch was the “fat kid,” as the investor Steve Eisman has put it, so desperate to be like Goldman Sachs that it barreled into every dumb investment imaginable and had to be bailed out by Bank of America. Almost every single bank chief doubled down on mortgage junk at exactly the wrong moment. Emotions led otherwise intelligent men—because, let’s face it, all of them were men—to make terrible decisions.

According to a new breed of researchers from the field of behavioral finance, Wall Street’s volatility is really driven by our body chemistry. It’s the chemicals pulsing through traders’ veins that propel them to place insane bets and enable bank executives to make risky decisions—and those same chemicals tend to have the same effect on everyone, turning them into a herd of overheated animals. And because the vast majority of these traders and finance executives are men, the most important chemical in question is testosterone.

Here are a few things we know about testosterone: Both men and women produce it, but men make fifteen times as much of it as women, on average. It causes all sorts of physical differences—in body hair, muscle mass, jawlines, and so on. Behaviorally, it does all the things that one would expect: It is linked to increased aggression and dominance, confidence, hostility, violence, sensation-seeking, and the searching out of mates (“I felt like I had to have sex once a day or I would die,” Drew—formerly Susan—Seidman told The Village Voice, after having testosterone injections as part of his transformation from a woman to a man). One of the most fascinating things about testosterone is the way it can be influenced by the environment. A man who stays home with his kids, for example, is likely to see his testosterone level drop over time. Testosterone varies throughout the day, peaking in the morning and gradually ebbing through the afternoon. Perhaps not surprisingly, single men have higher levels than married men. If you eat more meat, it tends to be higher. As it does when a man is in the presence of an attractive woman, or looking at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Or in a highly competitive environment with other guys, like a rugby game—or the Bear Stearns trading floor."

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Happy 25th Anniversary, Dollywood!

Let's all celebrate Dolly's Woods and their emergent quarter-life crisis by retelling one of my favorite blonde jokes...

A college student goes back to her dorm and says to her blonde roommate, “I slept with a Brazilian man last night.” Her roommate replies, “OMG, you slut! How many is a Brazilian??”

And by the way, my old U.S. History teacher went to high school with Dolly and says her "dollies" are completely real... the debate continues!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Pullin' a "Kanye" on ObamaCare

Whether you're for or against the bill, it's still kinda funny... right? I think so. :)

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Stuff Hipsters Hate: When Their Friends Go to Law School

from http://lizbert.tumblr.com

"Janelle: Hey dude, Jason is having a fucking awesome party tonight at some loft in Bushwick. Wanna get there early? Like 1 a.m. or somethin’?

Tyron: Sorry, lady. I have to study.

Janelle: What the fuck do you have to study for? You’ve been outta school for five years…

Tyron: The LSATs.

Janelle. Are you shitting me?

Tyron: Naw, I mean, this whole poet thing isn’t really working out. I mean, no one wants to pay me to write, so I figured I would, like, learn a trade.

Janelle: Are you going to be an LSAT tutor…?

Tyron: No, asshole. I’m going to law school.

Janelle: What the fuck? When have you ever expressed interest in the law? You don’t even like motherfucking Law & Order—and there’s like six versions of that show to choose from.

Tyron: Well, lawyers make a lot of money, which is something I don’t have. I can’t shelve books at an indie bookstore and do poetry slams forever, Jan. I can’t. I need stuff like, I dunno, a real bed. A room with walls. Last week I brought this chick home and she took one look at my so-called room—a shower curtain and bed sheets do not a bedroom make—and announced that she had to get up early. She’s a fucking freelancer. How many freelancers do you know who have to “get up early”? I can’t deal with this anymore, dude. I need to eat. I need to get laid. I need cash. I mean, yeah, I would probably have to wear a suit year-round to cover up my sleeve tats, and, sure, I would have to shave more often and probably move to Manhattan and drink with I-bankers at shitty places like Blondies, and I would most definitely have to pretend to get excited about sports and shit—but I can do it. I can suck it up. I’m almost 30. It’s time to get serious.

Janelle: Dude, you’re not going to get into law school. I mean, that’s just a stone cold fucking science fact.

Tyron: Why the fuck not? I got like fucking straight A’s in college.

Janelle: Well, for one, you majored in abstract sculpture and Victorian poetry, and two, the most experience you’ve had with the legal system was that time you got arrested for breaking into that construction site, getting smashed and passing out in your own vomit.

Tyron: Dude. That was like a fucking minor offense. Like, you know, a misnomer.

Janelle: Um. I rest my case."

xoxo,
Rebel

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Sandra Bullock

OH, yes, Sandra B. Whether you're winning Oscars or kicking your lyin', cheatin' hubby out on his douche-bag dumper... you're always rocking our world. You're a Southern girl (who graduated from my Momma's alma mater, ECU!), a kick-ass, down-to-earth celeb, and we Rebel Debs salute you.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Southern Jewish Wedding Singer, Part I

From funnyordie.com...

"The Southern Jewish Wedding Singer" : Part One - watch more funny videos

"Shalom, Ya'll! L'Chaim and Eat Up!"

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Letter from a Redneck Momma

Just discovered the following... nothing like a little redneck humor to brighten your bleak Monday morning!

"Dearest Son,

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down!

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom"

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Daisy (of Love) De La Hoya

I don't know why. I just love anybody who reminds me of a Muppet. Oh, and did you hear she was dating the late Corey Haim up until he died? Those muppets are trouble, I tell ya! Trouble!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Check Out the Rebel Deb's New Article in This Month's "Marie Claire"...

Eating disorders, ladies. They're serious (and sometimes deadly) business. Check out my article and read about how I overcame one of the biggest challenges facing young girls today...


xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Happy International Women's Day!

From then...



To now...



What a way to celebrate, huh? Way to go, Kathryn. You make us proud.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

In Tim We Trust!

In the words of my friend, Rachel: "I often ask myself, What Would Tim Gunn Do?"

Well, apparently, he would trash the Dash, referring to her style as having "a cheapness and tawdriness"... Um, yeah:



Needless to say, we Rebel Debs agree! It's *cool* to be sexy, Kim. But flashing your boobs all over Hollywood/the Internet/magazine stands nationwide? That's no way to keep it classy. In fact, that reeks of the kind of desperate, "famous for being me!" attitude made famous by Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and... well, almost every "socialite" with her own Reality TV show. Read Tim's comments and decide for yourself!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Ellen!

We salute you, Ellen Degeneres, for braving your first few months as the new sailor on the sinking ship that is "American Idol." This season of AI has gone straight into the toilet. On the bright side, you're here to make us all smile through our Titanic-esque tears. In fact, as a hard-working, ground-breaking celeb Rebel Deb, I consider you to be the best thing to come aboard that show since, well... the last thing that left:



xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse: Forbes Magazine Becomes Just Another Victim of Culture *FAIL*

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Third Horseman of the Apocalypse: People Actually *Caring* About Vienna vs. Tenley

OMIGOD!! Can you believe he picked the skanky one?? *barf*

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Second Horseman of the Apocalypse: Facebook Quizzes that Consume Your Whole Day!

Why, Facebook? WHY must you enrapture me within your all-consuming clutches?? Must... escape... but just can't find the strength!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The First Horseman of the Apocalypse: Jessica Simpson's New "Reality" Show, "The Price of Beauty"

"Dude... I'm so effing pretty... wanna get neck tattoos?" *barf*

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Jenny Sanford

Ya'll already know the story about Jenny and Mark Sanford... according to the 'NET:

"First South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford was born. Later, he pretended to be hiking the Appalachian Trail when in fact schtupping the Argentinian woman. Then his wife wrote a disparaging book. Now their divorce proceedings will be on TV."

I know, I know... sounds like the usual Reality TV, fame-hogging crap. But I, for one, support Jenny Sanford in moving on from Mark's behavior. So she wants to write a book -- who wouldn't want such an opportunity to turn her personal tragedy into triumph? Jenny's still a celeb Rebel Deb based on her past work as a Wall Streeter (in the 80's, no less, when that particular Street was nearly female-free!) and her refusal to stand by her lyin', cheatin' man.

Check out Marie Claire's recent interview with the former SC Governor-ess and decide for yourself.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

How I Feel Every Time I See Those 4AM "Girls Gone Wild" Commercials...

Five Things More Interesting to Watch than Tiger Woods' "Apology": #5 - Puppy Succubi from Hell! They're Comin' ta Getcha...

Five Things More Interesting Than Watching Tiger Woods' "Apology": #4 - Weirdo Vampire Obsessions

Five Things More Interesting to Watch than Tiger Woods' "Apology": #3 - The 'World's Fattest Cat' Contest. (I think we may have a winner...)

Five Things More Interesting to Watch than Tiger Woods' "Apology": #2 - R. Kelly's Tanking Career

Five Things More Interesting to Watch than Tiger Woods' "Apology": #1 - Lady Gaga's Butt

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Ivanka Trump

From a chipmunk-cheeked teen with a typical "I wanna be a SUPERMODEL, daddy!!" dream (haven't we all had this at one time? C'mon, admit it!)... to a (while admittedly still very chipmunk-cheeked) young lady with a degree from Wharton (wonder if her Daddy helped her with that one, too?) under her belt and a business-savvy mind... Ivanka Trump, like her brilliant mother before her, captures the essence of a well-rounded, go-getter Rebel Deb. And we salute her. :)

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The 1st Gold Medalist of the 3000 B.C. Olympics

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Mia Hamm

From Soccer-Rocker...



To Super-Mommy...


This U.S. Olympic soccer player went to UNC Chapel Hill and lead our nation's team to victory in THREE CONSECUTIVE Olympics. Once touted as "The Michael Jordan of Soccer," during the height of her career, Mia was considered one of the most talented women in sports... and the epitome of a Rebel Debutante. Today, she balances a quiet home life with a stellar career in sports promotion. Overall, she earns this Rebel Deb's utmost respect. Here's to you, Mia! You've shown us, once again, that women can succeed both within and without the home.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Tool of the Month: John Mayer

Hey there, ladies. I'm John Mayer. I like to call certain ex-girlfriends of mine... *cough* Jessica Simpson *cough*... "a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me."

"Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f-----’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f--- you, I would start selling all my s--- just to keep f------ you.'"

Yeah, that's right, all you lusty ladies out there. I'm loud and I'm proud. But most of all, I'm a tool.

love,
JM

Howya Doin', Weekend? I Can Glimpse You in tha Distance!

American Psycho... The Musical?

That's right, folks. The story of an uptight, button-down, 1980's Wall Street-er so desperate to escape his repressed, workaholic, cocaine-infused lifestyle that he starts murdering all those around him... starting with co-workers, then friends, then an ex (haven't we all wanted to do this? Okay, maybe TMI...) and then finally round after round of hookers, until he finally confesses his misdeeds to a guy at an office party... who doesn't believe him. Why? Because one of the co-workers Michael Bateman (Christian Bale's character) has just confessed to killing is ALIVE and in the NEXT ROOM. How could this be, you might ask? Well, I'll tell you. It's because the author -- Bret Easton Ellis -- is a genius. And because IT NEVER HAPPENED. Bateman concocted the entire reality simply to escape his unhappy, greed-fueled existence. He never actually killed anybody... though he may have wanted to.

And now, dear Reb Debs, Michael is leaping down from the big screen to the stage. Not sure if I'll actually go see a wannabe psychopathic killer's rampage set to Sondheim, but I'm sure -- for those who do choose to partake -- it'll be a *killer* time. (Okay, corny, I know -- give me a break! What am I, a theatre reviewer?)

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

According to UrbanDictionary.com, I Have the Best Name *EVER*

I think that the following definition applies not only to me, but to all Rebel Debs in general... especially the parts in bold...

ANNA: The subject of the Arthur Alexander song as well as the remake by The Beatles.The best "Annas" come from the South. Anna is a unique name that can be spelled the same forwards & backwards; Anna - annA. See? The name is simple & elegant, which is a good description of females named Anna. Elegant & exciting. Simple & undefined. Traditional & radical.

- "Hi. What's your name?"
- "Anna"
- "Anna?!?!?!"
- "Yes... Anna."
- "Oh my goodness that is the most awesome name I've ever heard in my LIFE!"
- "Why thank you."
- "NO! Thank YOU! For allowing me to meet you, Anna!"

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Jax the Saints Fan

Check out how my dog, Jax, reacted to my exuberant "GO COLTS!" today...



Black Lab: 1
Rebel Deb: 0

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Why I Won't Go to Banfield Pet Hospital... and You Shouldn't, Either.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine took her dog to Banfield Pet Hospital at her local PetSmart. She dropped off her puppy, happy and playful, for a round of shots. A few hours later, when she came to pick him up, she noticed her puppy's eyes were bloodshot and strained, and that he looked shocked -- almost terrified -- when leaving the vet's office.

Alarmed, she took her dog to an emergency veterinarian, who told her that her beloved dog had been STRANGLED. Repeatedly. The vet even showed her the human fingernail marks, still embedded in her poor puppy's neck skin.

That's right, folks... Banfield STRANGLES dogs. And my friend is by no means the only person I've heard complain about these pet doctors of death. So, if you have a choice in the matter, BEWARE! Stay clear of PetSmart's Banfield Hospital, and all its affiliates! You (and your pet) will be glad you did.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Best Valentine I've Ever Received!

An Author's Biggest Fear... in Pie-Chart Form

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Katie "Cougar" Couric

Normally, I'm not a big fan of Katie's... especially after her *uber* rude behavior towards Michael Moore during the premier of his healthcare documentary, "Sickos." After blasting him apart, Michael graciously (and without a touch of sarcasm) asked her to coffee with him to further discuss their opinions about the pros and cons of HMO's... and instead of smiling and either 1) taking the joke, or 2) politely refusing, she instead decided to say something along the lines of "um... yeah. No thanks!" followed by a smirk and a chuckle. Wtf, Katie? Where is your "journalistic integrity?" Get the whole story here.

Anywho...

Now good ole Katie's been labeled a "Cougar" (a term I find totally sexist -- I mean, hello? When Jack Nicholson, who's old enough to be my grandfather, dates a 25-year-old, people think he's "cool." But Katie and Demi do it, and they're suddenly comparable to carnivorous animals? Double-standard, much?). Needless to say, she's fighting her title. Check it out:

"I just find it stupid, you know?" the CBS Evening News anchor, 53, says in the March issue of Harper's Bazaar when asked about the label... and her 33-year-old boyfriend. "I think it also surmises that the older woman is always the pursuer. That's not necessarily true. I always say that maybe the older woman is the prey and someone else is the predator. It's just silly."

Right on, Katie-cakes. The Rebel Debs of the world salute and (until you pull some more unprofessional bullsh*t) embrace you!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

Why I Don't Design My Own Websites

Confession: I *Love* Mae West

Mary Jane (aka Mae) West was The Ultimate, early 20th-century BadAss. One of my (many) favorite quotes...



Apparently, she was born in Brooklyn, NY, into a family of Vaudevillians (and if you don't know what Vaudeville is... well, I have no words for you.) and prize-fighters. Pretty cool, huh?

She began her career as a child star in vaudeville, and later went on to write her own plays, including "SEX", for which she was arrested (for "corrupting the morals of youths").

According to the Net... "Though her first movie role was a small part in Night After Night (1932), her scene has become famous. A coat check girl exclaims, "Goodness! What lovely diamonds!", after seeing Mae's jewelry. Mae replies, 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'."

MEEEE-OOOOWW, Ms. West. You friggin' ROCK. I hope I'm still this cool, 30 years after I die.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb