Thursday, February 11, 2010

Tool of the Month: John Mayer

Hey there, ladies. I'm John Mayer. I like to call certain ex-girlfriends of mine... *cough* Jessica Simpson *cough*... "a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me."

"Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f-----’ snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f--- you, I would start selling all my s--- just to keep f------ you.'"

Yeah, that's right, all you lusty ladies out there. I'm loud and I'm proud. But most of all, I'm a tool.



Red Scare said...

so true. so true.

Anna Fields said...

I loved your forward from Jezebel! "A Benetton Heart and a White Supremacist dick?" WTF was he talking about there?? Creepy Creeperton.

Rebel Deb