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February 28, 2011
By: larramiefg
Successful playwright, television writer, and comedienne, Anna Fields dishes out a Southern-fried memoir about growing up too smart and rebellious for her North Carolina small town in Confessions of a Rebel Debutante.
During childhood the author claimed the “tomboy” label, only then to describe her adolescent self as being “outspoken” and “bookish” rebelling against the strict rules at her private all-girls finishing school. Anna tried to be a proper Deb, even making it through the first Cotillion. Yet, when viewed as too “liberal” and “uppity,” she didn’t make the cut for the ultimate Debutante Ball.
That’s the backstory and this is the synopsis of Confessions of a Rebel Debutante:
A strict regimen of Southern-belle grooming should have prepared Anna Fields for a lifetime of ladylike behavior.
But it didn’t.
As it turned out, Anna—a smart, outspoken, bookish girl—was a dud at debbing. After being kicked out of cotillion classes, the “Rebel Deb” left North Carolina to seek her fortune. Her first stop was Brown University —right in the heart of Yankee-land—and then the crazy world of Hollywood talent agencies and celebrity-packed restaurants. After a disastrous stint as Diana Ross’s personal assistant, Anna headed off to the Big Apple, where she worked for one of Bravo’s Real Housewives. It’s a rollicking, unlikely success story from a natural-born storyteller.
Sharp, sweet, and sassy, Confessions of a Rebel Debutante proves you can take the girl out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the girl!
Please take a look at the glowing Press.
The South is known for its storytellers and Anna Fields is another talented one as she writes her “rags-to-riches,” almost Cinderella-like story. Of course there isn’t a wicked step-mother or even step-sisters in this tale, but all of Anna’s quirky relatives are much more entertaining and — more importantly — they’re real!
Written in a chronological format, this memoir has a distinct stream-of-conscious feel as the rebel deb’s voice delights with humorous details or becomes serious in relating past problems. For this book applies to every girl — living below or above the Mason-Dixon line — who didn’t quite fit in and was proud of it.
As Anna shares her sweet, bittersweet, and deeply poignant tales, she often refers to her role model of Scarlett O’Hara and frequently asks herself, “what would Scarlett do?” The answer is usually anything that will maintain the rebel deb’s strong confidence in herself. Because, when interviewed by BUST Magazine in May 2010, the author defined a rebel debutante as:
“She’s a woman who will bake a cake, clean a rifle, and drive a stick shift with a smile. She’s a mix of masculine and feminine, strong and soft—like all real women.”
However one strong tenet, revealed in the memoir, is that a rebel deb will not be content to simply stay home and birth babies. Oh no, she’s first destined to be true to herself. And where does that energy and determination come from? Within that same BUST Magazine article, Anna admits:
“I keep my eye on the ball. I stop worrying about what bad things can happen and start taking risks. I consider these to be investments in myself and in my happiness, instead of in fear. I stop competing with others, wondering what others are thinking about me, or what they’re doing. My self-love, my self-confidence, does not depend on others—it comes from God, and it lives within me. With that in mind, I know that I can overcome anything.”
Indeed she can and does, proving herself time after time by coming out on top. And, for the most part, the author accomplishes it all with her polite southern charm intact. For as the book’s description explains:
You can take the girl out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the girl!
With her homespun tales and smart, experienced wisdom, Anna Fields’ story, though rooted in North Carolina, can resonate with any reader, anywhere. Every region of our country has its own distinct identity passed down by generations of ethnic family traditions. Unique, eccentric, and larger-than-life lovable relatives can be found at almost any holiday gathering. Embarrassing secrets are shared and scorned as younger generations seek to rebel against their past if only to say they can succeed on their own.
Confessions of a Rebel Debutante takes readers on the author’s journey, while nudging out our own personal, growing-up memories along the way. So travel down south with Anna who never took that final deb curtsy but realized that “You can’t bend the rules without learning them first.”
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Rep. Jackie Speier (D-CA)
Just listen to Representative Speier responding in opposition to the Pence Amendment. Makes you want to shout, "Go, Jackie, go!"
"... the American people at home are wondering, 'What does this have to do with getting me a job?' It doesn't. It has nothing to do with that at all. Last time I checked, abortion - whether you like it or not - is legal in this country. But then again, so is Haliburton. They're guilty of fraud, embezzlement and 10 other felonies. But are we up here trying to pass amendments making them illegal? No."
Thank you, Congresswoman Speier, for reminding us why Feminism is still relevant today and will be necessary to protect women's reproductive choices forevermore.
And in case anyone is wondering "Why is this even an issue? Isn't Roe v. Wade on the books already? Why isn't this dead on the Hill? Isn't freedom of choice here to stay?" A little info to answer and, I hope, to enlighten:
The central holding of Roe established that, before a fetus becomes viable, a woman's right to abort was considered "fundamental." After Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1993), however, women's rights to abortion via the viability standard were reclassified as "liberty interests." Which means that any statutes to restrict access to abortion can be upheld as constitutional under a slightly less rigorous standard called "Rational Basis" review. Casey held that states can require 24-hour waiting periods, parental consent forms, and can make access to abortion much more difficult and expensive -- so long as that access isn't cut off completely, and it's not considered an "undue burden" on the woman seeking one.
So, yeah. Nothing is here to stay. I agree that it would be difficult to reverse Roe in one fell swoop, but that's not what the Republicans are trying to do. The Pence Act need not reverse Roe v. Wade directly in order to take away women's rights to abortion. They can simply regulate it to death, little by little. Like ancient warriors used to say of their enemies, "Why fight something you hate when you can simply starve it to death?"
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
"... the American people at home are wondering, 'What does this have to do with getting me a job?' It doesn't. It has nothing to do with that at all. Last time I checked, abortion - whether you like it or not - is legal in this country. But then again, so is Haliburton. They're guilty of fraud, embezzlement and 10 other felonies. But are we up here trying to pass amendments making them illegal? No."
Thank you, Congresswoman Speier, for reminding us why Feminism is still relevant today and will be necessary to protect women's reproductive choices forevermore.
And in case anyone is wondering "Why is this even an issue? Isn't Roe v. Wade on the books already? Why isn't this dead on the Hill? Isn't freedom of choice here to stay?" A little info to answer and, I hope, to enlighten:
The central holding of Roe established that, before a fetus becomes viable, a woman's right to abort was considered "fundamental." After Planned Parenthood v. Casey (1993), however, women's rights to abortion via the viability standard were reclassified as "liberty interests." Which means that any statutes to restrict access to abortion can be upheld as constitutional under a slightly less rigorous standard called "Rational Basis" review. Casey held that states can require 24-hour waiting periods, parental consent forms, and can make access to abortion much more difficult and expensive -- so long as that access isn't cut off completely, and it's not considered an "undue burden" on the woman seeking one.
So, yeah. Nothing is here to stay. I agree that it would be difficult to reverse Roe in one fell swoop, but that's not what the Republicans are trying to do. The Pence Act need not reverse Roe v. Wade directly in order to take away women's rights to abortion. They can simply regulate it to death, little by little. Like ancient warriors used to say of their enemies, "Why fight something you hate when you can simply starve it to death?"
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
The Diving Wand's Interview with the Rebel Deb!
The Revealing of Anna Fields
February 16, 2011
By: larramiefg
According to Anna Fields’ momma: “Every one of us starts off a debutante, then becomes a rebel, but when we finally grow into our own…we’re a little bit of both.” And this is what the author proves in her debut memoir, Confessions of a Rebel Debutante recently released in Trade paperback.
Here is a one sentence description: A fond, funny Southern-fried memoir about growing up a proper young lady…or not.
And the following praise:
“…Fields takes what should be an oxymoronic state of mind and makes it work for her like some crazy hybrid confection: soft on the outside, hard in the center…. Fields shows how a rebellious southern belle can survive almost anywhere.” – Carol Haggas Booklist
“…all about empowering the hearts and minds and spirits of young women…” – Jennifer Brett The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
“…This is by far the best memoir I have ever read. Anna is my kind of chick! This hilariously true tale is better than any reality TV show. I think that this is the type of book that would interest any reader. Four stars!” – Bridget McNeill Barnes & Noble
The Divining Wand has scheduled a presentation/review of Confessions of a Rebel Debutante: A Memoir for Monday, February 28, 2011 but, for now, let’s meet the author through her “official” bio:
Anna Fields was born in Burlington, North Carolina, and attended Brown University. A former scriptwriter for As the World Turns, Guiding Light, and One Life to Live, she is also a successful playwright, screenwriter, and performance artist. Anna lives in New York City.
Now for even more revealing confessions from the “Rebel Deb:”
Q: How would you describe your life in 8 words?
A: From debutante to rebel and back, my dear.
Q: What is your motto or maxim
A: Eat well, sleep well, dream well, play hard and get along.
Q: How would you describe perfect happiness?
A: I’m religious, so I tend to think of happiness as closeness with God. The lack of want. Looking inward for happiness instead of outward for ambition. Being kind, for we are all fighting our own, silent battles. Practicing forgiveness in all its forms. Letting go of the past — something I never seem to be able to do, but I know leads to happiness, if not perfection.
Q: What’s your greatest fear?
A: Not realizing my potential. Running out of time before I write the eight or nine books that are stuck inside my head. Dying without letting my family and friends know how much I love, need and yet hate them at the same time — a three-part emotion that I often explore in my work.
Q: If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you choose to be?
A: Right where I am.
Q: With whom in history do you most identify?
A: Eleanor of Aquitaine
Q: Which living person do you most admire?
A: My mother… and possibly either Erica John or Anne Rice
Q: What are your most overused words or phrases?
A: “Right?”
“like”
“indeed”
Q: If you could acquire any talent, what would it be?
A: To write children’s stories. I have so many ideas for them, and yet whenever I try to write for younger people I end up writing for older people.
Q: What is your greatest achievement?
A: Surviving.
Q: What’s your greatest flaw?
A: Taking life too seriously — and sweating the small stuff, which I believe no one should ever do.
Q: What’s your best quality?
A: Generosity — I want to adopt every animal I see, and help everyone who needs it. I end up being a guidance counselor to almost everyone I know.
Q: What do you regret most?
A: Putting my career over my friendships, back in my early twenties. Then again, where would I be today without my writing?
Q: If you could be any person or thing, who or what would it be?
A: I’m pretty happy being myself, but it might be nice to go back and be myself at 17 again. If not that, I’d love to be a man, just for a week or two. Just to see what it felt like on the other side of the glass ceiling.
Q: What trait is most noticeable about you?
A: My extremely blond hair and pale skin.
Q: Who is your favorite fictional hero?
A: Tough question! In the literary world, probably Lestat or Lady Chatterly… but mostly, my favorite fictional heroes come from television shows I adore. Dexter, anyone from Absolutely Fabulous or Six Feet Under. And Joan from Mad Men, for sure.
Q: Who is your favorite fictional villain?
A: Probably Richard III — then again, he was a real person… but Shakespeare makes him sound so much worse that I imagine he really was.
Q: If you could meet any athlete, who would it be and what would you say to him or her?
A: “Hi, Michael Vick. Or do you prefer, ‘Heartless, arrogant, self-righteous animal-hater?’”
Q: What is your biggest pet peeve?
A: Entitlement. Enough said.
Q: What is your favorite occupation, when you’re not writing?
A Running, drinking coffee or playing with my boyfriend and our dog, Jax.
Q: What’s your fantasy profession?
A: Hmmm. I’m pretty sure I’m living it.
Q: What 3 personal qualities are most important to you?
A: Generosity, kindness and loyalty.
Q: If you could eat only one thing for the rest of your days, what would it be?
A: Chocolate!
Q: What are your 5 favorite songs?
A: Anything from Mozart’s “Requiem for the Dead’
“All I Want is You” by U2
“Pictures of You” by The Cure
“Heart and Soul” by some 80’s band I loved in high school but now can’t remember its name
“Norwegian Wood” by The Beatles
Q: What are your 5 favorite books of all time?
A: “The Queen of the Damned”
“Confessions of a Shopaholic”
“The Vampire Lestat”
“Silas Marner”
“The Great Gatsby”
Multi-talented, honest, and most thought-provoking, Anna Fields — as a Rebel Deb — will entertain and enlighten if you follow her on Twitter, become a friend on Facebook and visit her blog, Rebel Debutante.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Why is Feminism Awesome? Because It Lets You Be a PERSON, Not a Random List of "Womanly Job Qualities"
OMG! Whatever will we do? Women have been so busy educating ourselves and becoming productive members of society that we've neglected to do our "real" jobs, like cooking and cleaning! Boo-effing-hoo. Australia? YOU SUCK, MATE.
According to theFrisky.com...
"Whatever will the menfolk do?! Us modern hussies not only paint our lips and wear britches, but we’re losing our valuable lady skills too. There’s a study out of the Courier-Mail newspaper in Australia about how women under 30 are losing “female” skills, like cooking, cleaning and sewing. Only 20 percent of women under 30 surveyed said they could bake a cake and only 51 percent could cook a roast. Women of the Baby Boomer generation, however, said 85 percent could cook a roast and 45 percent could bake a cake.
I have never in my life needed to bake a cake or cook a roast. You know what? I don’t care to learn. But here is a list of more modern “womanly” skills the women of The Frisky do possess, which are a helluva lot more important:
I can pay my bills on time.
I can find a job.
I can multi-task.
I can keep my cool in stressful situations."
And most importantly, I'M NOT STUCK IN SOME STEREOTYPICAL IMAGE THAT SHOULD'VE DIED IN THE 1950's.
So there, Australian Courier-Mail Newspaper. Suck on THAT, you sexist freaks.
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Yay for Tuscon :)
Hey, ya'll! Just got another review in from Tuscon, AZ:
Read the whole article here... or just keep scrolling down for the juicy bits. :)
I haven’t found much amusing about debutants since the days of Brenda Frazier. (Brenda who? Google it.)
Anna Fields is as Southern as corn bread and grits and probably would have made a terrific debutante if she hadn’t been such a rebel. She grew up in North Carolina but was more at home hanging upside down from a dogwood tree than learning to curtsy and the finer points of Southern high society.
While trying to learn the basics by wearing talcum powder in her hair to “keep the curl,” wearing kid gloves, and dancing with middle school boys in their big brothers’ tuxes, she realized quite quickly that becoming a deb simply wasn’t in her DNA. After rebelling at her private all-girls finishing school, she enrolled at Brown University which was followed by a disastrous short-lived acting career in L.A.
This is a laugh-out-loud memoir that is as comforting and refreshing as a frosty glass of sweet tea — the table wine of the South — consumed on a shady porch during a hot summer day.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Time You Ran for the Border, Taco "Grade 'D' Worm Meat Still Counts... Right?" Bell!
Remember the section of my book where I talk about the worm-farmer's daughter? Well, according to her father, his best customer was.... you guessed it! Taco "We use Grade D Beef" Bell!
According to articles all over the web (and this one below from Socialife.com), Worm-Meat Bell is now being sued. And they're claiming the allegations are false and they use 100% ground beef. Riiiiiight. Like a worm-farmer would lie!
An Alabama law firm has filed a class action lawsuit against Taco Bell that claims the chain is falsely calling its taco filling “seasoned beef” and “seasoned ground beef” when allegedly the mixture, which would be more properly called “Taco Meat Filling,” only contains 36% beef. Um, WTF!?
Hmmm…so what the hell is in this filling? Hopefully not soylent green. Interestingly enough (or disgustingly enough) it includes…
Water
Wheat oats
Soy lecithin
Maltrodrextrin
Anti-dusting agent (?)
Autolyzed yeast extract
Modified corn starch
Sodium phosphate
Isolated oat product
The USDA defines “Taco Meat Filling” as 40% meat, so if the lawsuit is correct, it seems like Taco Bell would have to up their beef levels to even qualify for that. Anyway, please feel free to continue eating our gordita while I munch on my nacho bell grande. Because you know what, that shit still hits the spot.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
It's About that Time, Folks!
Hey, ya'll. :)
Sorry to have been so MIA lately, but I've been getting ready for the paperback release of "Confessions of a Rebel Debutante!"
Fresh new purdy pb's will hit stores on February 1, 2011. In the meantime, my friend "Girl from the Ghetto" is giving away two free copies on her blog. Check out her site to enter or keep reading a bit of what she has to say...
Confessions of a Rebel Debutante Book Giveaway
I’m thrilled to announce that I have 2 copies of Confessions of a Rebel Debutante by Anna Fields to giveaway!
Anna Fields, you had me at "You can take the girl out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the girl!" I love nothing more than reading a story set in the south, or devouring a good memoir. Anna deliciously describes her childhood and what life was like going through (and eventually getting kicked out of) cotillion was like, beginning at age eleven, all the while making fun of everything about debbing including herself down to her big butt. After seeing her photo on the back of my book, I had a hard time believing she was ever fat, because she reminds me a little bit of Reese Witherspoon. But she forces me to believe it with tales of being a tall girl who wore glasses and had bad skin and a white girl ‘fro after reading her hilarious cheerleading tryout story to the tune of Too Legit to Quit.
Who would have thought a Winston-Salem girl could escape society by getting an Ivy League education, move to New York and LA and work for major celebrities such as Diana Ross and Jill Zarin, let alone act alongside the best of young hollywood in a major motion picture called Mona Lisa Smile, and eventually become a successful playwright, standup comedian and writer for As the World Turns? I can, after reading this book. I cracked up when Ms. Fields starts her memoir off with this line – I’ve only got one good story: How I became a Rebel Debutante. She’s got more than a hundred good stories in this book alone and I can not begin to cover most of them.
As much as I enjoyed hearing what life was like behind the scenes of debbing, I found the heart of Anna’s story in her own personal story, and not the story of the other rich and often drunk debutantes. Things really get rolling in the book when she began writing about her life at boarding school, the prestigious Wellington Academy run by a woman named Miss Freeze. Anna never fit in to begin with, but once she became best friends with her wild roommate Alma who was a fan of public ladyscaping, known as the campus queer for her unladylike and non-deb ways, and who told outrageous tall tales that even involved the Playboy Mansion, well, fun and adventures began that were even better than attending cotillion-related events. Alma, needless to say, was a bad influence on a Anna to begin with, but the two of them together had them both on some crazy adventures. They got caught drinking at a college fraternity party, and once stumbled across a girl from school who had just been raped, but they still were the ones who got in trouble because they were caught vacationing on the wrong side of town in Myrtle Beach, let alone their biggest adventure that included a tragedy I’ll let you discover on your own.
Who would have thought a Winston-Salem girl could escape society by getting an Ivy League education, move to New York and LA and work for major celebrities such as Diana Ross and Jill Zarin, let alone act alongside the best of young hollywood in a major motion picture called Mona Lisa Smile, and eventually become a successful playwright, standup comedian and writer for As the World Turns? I can, after reading this book. I cracked up when Ms. Fields starts her memoir off with this line – I’ve only got one good story: How I became a Rebel Debutante. She’s got more than a hundred good stories in this book alone and I can not begin to cover most of them.
You would be absolutely bonkers not to read this book, because not only would you not get to learn all about her very interesting and entertaining life, but you would miss out reading all of the celebrity dirt she has collected through the years. My god, the things she has written in this book and didn’t even hint at on the cover or in the press! An unnamed female Grey’s Anatomy star telling her they loved anal and want to make out with her, her interview with Dr. Ruth that had the famous sex counselor personally offended, and her time spent working a private waiting gig at Calabasas home for three sisters (who, to me, had to have been Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian) which ended in a FBI drug bust.
Visit Indiebound to purchase a copy of Confessions of a Rebel Debutante for yourself.
Contest ends Saturday, February 5, 2011 at midnight. Good luck to you all!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Elizabeth Edwards
"The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered," she wrote. "We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful."
RIP, sweet lady.
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Thursday, December 2, 2010
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Susie the Dog
RALEIGH – Among the new state laws taking effect this week is one called Susie's Law. It creates stiffer penalties in animal cruelty cases.
Beginning Wednesday, it will be a felony to starve, torture, mutilate or disfigure an animal. Offenders could be sentenced to 8 months in prison.
The law is named after Susie, a Greensboro dog who was set on fire and left to die. She put her paw of approval on the bill in June when Gov. Bev Perdue signed it into law.
Lashawn Whitehead was convicted and sentenced to probation for hurting her.
Susie is now happy and healthy with her new adopted family.
Simply fyi: Rep. Nick Mackey, a Charlotte Democrat, attempted to water down the measure and voted against passage. An organization that has fought regulations on puppy breeders also spoke out against the bill.
“I’m asking you not to spend money on something that’s not needed,” said Henri McClees, speaking on behalf of the N.C. Sporting Dog Association. “North Carolina already has strong laws.”
So, for all you folks who live in Charlotte, if you ever get a chance to vote against Nick Mackey, go for it! And kudos to anyone who eggs Henri McClees' house. :)
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Saturday, November 27, 2010
National Novel Writing Month - Winner!
I just finished the first 50,253 words of my next book, ya'll. It's called "Thin." Fingers crossed for the next 50,000! I expect this baby will top out around 300 pages. Wish me luck!
xoxo
Rebel Deb
Monday, November 22, 2010
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Norris Church Mailer
Sorry I've been a bit MIA lately, ya'll. I've been devastated by the loss of my good friend and proclaimed "surrogate mother," Norris. The last time I saw her, we ate tempura and sushi and talked about how much we had in common. She was an only child who grew up in the South. I was an only child who grew up in the South. She's been exposed to big cities and big celebrities and all the nonsense and hoopla that goes with both at a young age. Guess what? So had I. She loved powerfully; so have I. She worshipped the written word. So do I.
And now, the woman who got up in from of 950 people at a conference we were both invited to this past summer in Indianapolis and called me her "would-be daughter," who wanted me to meet her son, John Buffalo, because I "would love him and want to marry him," who told me all the secrets and stories she'd left out of her memoir about Norman, "A Ticket to the Circus"... is gone. She's gone and I'll never see her high-cheekboned, beautiful face again.
The least I can do is make her an official Celeb Rebel Debutante and pray with all my heart that wherever you are, Norris, you've got all the happiness life owed you. I love you and always will. You are remembered, sweet lady. With or without the circus surrounding you.
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
NEW YORK (AP) — She was half the age of Norman Mailer when they met and their bond was as fast and fateful as a mortal's coupling with a god.
Norris Church Mailer, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author's sixth and final wife, would enjoy and endure the ride of her life.
An actress, Wilhemina model, author and painter, Mailer died at her home in Brooklyn on Sunday. She was 61. Her passing was announced on the website of the Norman Mailer Society, which in a statement said she passed away "after a long and valiant struggle with cancer." A longtime family friend and assistant, Dwayne Raymond, said he and her two children and some close friends were at her home when she died.
As Norris Mailer wrote in her 2010 memoir, "A Ticket to the Circus," she was a single mother in her mid-20s when she met the then-52-year-old Norman Mailer at a 1975 cocktail party in his honor in Russellville, Ark. Their attraction was immediate, even if he was breaking up with his fourth wife and seeing the woman who would become his fifth. Norris Church became No. 6 in 1980. A son, John Buffalo, had been born two years earlier.
The new Mrs. Mailer discovered the consequences of fame. The macho Norman Mailer was charming, callous, wise and infuriating. Through her husband, Norris met Jacqueline Kennedy and Imelda Marcos, Woody Allen and Fidel Castro. Norman Mailer could talk about anything; she likened their banter to the rapport between Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn. A sign of destiny: The Mailers both were born on Jan. 31.
But even as the author publicly rhapsodized over her auburn-haired beauty, he discouraged his wife's work, avoided her when he learned she had cancer and had affairs with several women, some of whom were referenced in his books and even showed up at social functions, at his invitation.
The tension became public by the early 1990s through gossip columns and in an ABC television interview when she told newsman Sam Donaldson that "one day Norman is a lion, the next day he's a monkey. Occasionally he's a lamb, and a large part of the time he's a jackass."
They drifted. She threatened to leave. He resisted. She stayed.
"I knew I was going to be with him for the rest of my life, and I think he felt the same way," she wrote. When the author died, in 2007, she was at his side and remembered his final moments: "His mouth spread in a huge smile, and his eyes were alive with excitement, as if he were seeing something amazing. Then he was gone."
A road worker's daughter raised in Little Rock and Atkins, Ark., she was born Barbara Jean Davis (a name not unlike Norma Jean Baker, the real name of Marilyn Monroe, subject of the only Norman Mailer book she had read when they met), and by age 3 had won a contest as Miss Little Rock. Popular in high school ("I was at the center of everything"), she attended Arkansas Polytechnic College and dated a childhood acquaintance, Larry Norris.
They married in 1969, and had a son, Matthew, two years later. But, as she recalled, they were too different — he preferring solitude, she preferring company. They divorced in 1974. As she began a modeling career, she changed her name to Norris Church, the last name suggested by Mailer because she attended church often as a child.
Tall and long-legged, the newly single Church enjoyed "a string of boyfriends," including Bill Clinton, then a candidate for Congress. He had a well-stocked staff of female admirers, she wrote, but clearly favored a plainly dressed blonde named Hillary Rodham who "had an intelligence none of the prettier girls in the room had."
"I would have so liked to be able to talk to him about world affairs and politics, or art or literature, or anything, frankly," Mailer wrote. "But we frankly never talked much."
Norris Mailer never considered herself in Norman Mailer's class as an author, but she did have a broad interest in the arts. Her paintings were featured in several one-woman shows. She was a member of the Actors Studio, appeared in the television adaptation of Mailer's classic "The Executioner's Song" and had a brief part, with her husband, in the film version of "Ragtime." She also wrote two novels, "Windchill Summer" and "Cheap Diamonds."
"I'd had a career. Family. I once had ambitions and dreams that had nothing to do with Norman Mailer," she wrote. "Norman changed my life and the ripples from that first meeting in Arkansas have spread through many others. I wouldn't trade with anybody in the world. And who knows what he's doing on the other side? I'm curious to catch up with him and find out."
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Jimmy "The Rent is Too Damn High!" McMillian
Crazy "Rent Is Too Damn High" Candidate Steals the Show at NY Gov. Debate
by Matt Cherette
We told you that tonight's New York gubernatorial debate—with seven participants!—would be crazy, but we could have never anticipated this level of it: watch as Jimmy McMillan, of the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party, uh... introduces himself.
by Matt Cherette
We told you that tonight's New York gubernatorial debate—with seven participants!—would be crazy, but we could have never anticipated this level of it: watch as Jimmy McMillan, of the "Rent Is Too Damn High" party, uh... introduces himself.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Yep, that's right: We're. All. Doomed. And Here's Why...
Why We're Doomed
| Tue Oct. 5, 2010 10:00 AM PDT
I don't typically weigh in on green consumer products or environmental marketing. But I'm making an exception given today's troubling news that Frito-Lay is ditching the biodegradable SunChips bag it unveiled 18 months ago because consumers have complained it was "too noisy." Seriously? The company is bagging the bag because American couch potatoes can't hear their TVs over the sound of their chip sack?
I don't necessarily blame Frito-Lay. It's a corporation and its job is to keep customers happy (and make money), so I can forgive them a little timidity on the issue, given that SunChips sales were apparently plummeting. What miffs me is that a little noise was apparently too much for Americans to handle. SunChips sales have reportedly declined more than 11 percent in the past 52 weeks because of the bags. The bags are made from plant-based materials and are 100 percent compostable, which was a pretty big deal—that means you can keep your chip habit without producing a ton of landfill waste. But due to the noise complaints, the company is pulling them immediately, USA Today reports:
The company is returning them to their former bags that can't be recycled — but won't wake the neighbors — while it works frantically to come up with a new, quieter eco-friendly bag.
The noise of the bag — due to an unusual molecular structure that makes the bag more rigid — has been compared to everything from lawnmowers to jet engines.
The article notes that there's a Facebook group with more than 44,000 members called "Sorry But I Can't Hear You Over This SunChips Bag," further evidence that the bags aren't all that popular. Actually, there are at least 153 different SunChip-themed Facebook groups, for whatever that's worth. For now at least, the company still has up its website touting the wonders of the bag, which notes: "Although our compostable bag is a bit louder, we hope you'll appreciate its environmental benefit." There's also a video showing how the bags break down in 14 weeks that concludes with the tag line "Change is irresistable" (which, um, apparently isn't the case).
I'll admit that the bags are certainly a lot louder than your regular non-biodegradable type. The noise is certainly enough to alert your living companions to your snack problem. (Maybe Frito-Lay should re-market it as a diet product if the noise is enough to discourage constant munching.) But is that really impacting Americans' ability to enjoy their chips? Is this what it comes down to—we want our chips crunchy but our bags have to remain silent?
I can't think of a more absurd example of how resistant to change Americans really are. It's not unlike the never-ending debate over compact fluorescent light bulbs; now that all of the other dumb arguments against the more efficient bulbs have been refuted repeatedly, the only one opponents have left is that they simply don't care for the way they look.
Of course everyone is entitled to have opinions about the relative aesthetics of consumer products, but should those really trump the environmental benefits? In the grand scheme of things, this is the absolute, bare-minimum level of sacrifice Americans are asked to make. They still get to eat the same chips, they just come from a different bag; they still light their homes, but with a slightly different bulb. But apparently that's still too much. Even worse is the fact that Americans can't muster the support to pass a climate bill, but a bunch of angry couch potatoes can successfully mobilize to force Frito-Lay to drop their innovative packaging. If the sound of a crinkly eco-chip bag is too much to handle, then the human species really is screwed.
Friday, October 1, 2010
This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Tony Curtis
"At 17, I dreamed of seeing the world. At 19, I had been around the world and back."
RIP, Spartacus.
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
The Rebel Deb on "Reading with Robin" - WHJJ 920
I was up in Providence, RI, last Saturday, being interviewed by the lovely, adorable Robin Ringer (and her cutie daughter, Emmie!) at WHJJ 920. Her live show, "Reading with Robin," promotes all things books, and she regularly interviews some of the heaviest hitting authors of our age. I felt privileged to become one of them.
Rebel Deb
Monday, September 13, 2010
Happy Roald Dahl Day, Everyone!
I, for one, will be celebrating by reading "The BFG," followed by "The Vicar of Nibbleswick," all while devouring a sugar-sprinkled peach. :)
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
Thursday, September 9, 2010
a HA! "I knew those Thin Mints tasted ungodly!"
The Girl Scouts are selling you lesbian, baby-killing feminist militia cookies
Seriously, just look at that logo. SO gay.
"We’re a wee late getting to this, but it’s just too good not to mention. And no, this is not an Onion headline.
When the Girl Scouts aren’t helping young girls become confident and productive members of society, they’re apparently serving as a feminist training ground for godless, man-hating, pro-abortion lesbianism — at least according to Hans Zeiger, Republican candidate for Washington’s House of Representatives.
That’s right, this GOP candidate thinks that the nearly century-old organization has been brainwashing your children by feeding them lesbian abortion cookies, according to a statement that was found from earlier this decade:
One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the Left in recent years. The reasons are simple: the Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps.… If the Girl Scouts of America can’t get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.”
I knew those Thin Mints tasted ungodly! While Zeiger has tried to cover his tracks by having the statement removed (along with a number of other problematic remarks found), the media beat him to the punch. So what was his response? That he removed them because the statements don’t represent his values anymore, adding that they would be a “distraction” from the campaign. Yeah, no shit — well, at least a distraction from the campaign he’s trying to put forth. Because I’d consider this pretty eye-opening information regarding the campaign, not a distraction, if you ask me."
Seriously, just look at that logo. SO gay.
"We’re a wee late getting to this, but it’s just too good not to mention. And no, this is not an Onion headline.
When the Girl Scouts aren’t helping young girls become confident and productive members of society, they’re apparently serving as a feminist training ground for godless, man-hating, pro-abortion lesbianism — at least according to Hans Zeiger, Republican candidate for Washington’s House of Representatives.
That’s right, this GOP candidate thinks that the nearly century-old organization has been brainwashing your children by feeding them lesbian abortion cookies, according to a statement that was found from earlier this decade:
One might wonder why the Girl Scouts have been spared the painful attacks that have been launched upon the Boy Scouts by the Left in recent years. The reasons are simple: the Girl Scouts allow homosexuals and atheists to join their ranks, and they have become a pro-abortion, feminist training corps.… If the Girl Scouts of America can’t get back to teaching real character, perhaps it will be time to look for our cookies elsewhere.”
SEPTEMBER 8, 20
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
More Food For Thought: "5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men," by Greta Christina
We know the many ways sexism hurts women. But we don't talk as much about how sexism hurts men.
If you have a scrap of progressive politics in your bones, it's no surprise to you that sexism hurts women. Like, duh. That's kind of the definition of the word.
But we don't talk as much about how sexism hurts men. Understandably. When you look at the grotesque ways women are damaged by sexism -- from economic inequality to political disenfranchisement to literal, physical abuse -- it makes perfect sense that we'd care more about how sexism and patriarchy and rigid gender roles affect women, than we do about how they affect men.
But men undoubtedly get screwed up by this stuff, too. Not screwed up as badly as women, to be sure... but not trivially, either. I care about it. And I think other feminists -- and other women and men who may not see themselves as feminists -- ought to care about it, too.
I care about this stuff for a lot of reasons. I care because I have men and boys in my life, men and boys who matter to me: I see how they get twisted into knots by gender roles that are not only insanely rigid but impossibly contradictory, and it makes me sick and sad and seriously pissed off. I care because I care about justice: fair is fair, and I don't want to solve the problem of gender inequality by making things suck worse for men.
And I care for entirely pragmatic, even Machiavellian reasons. I care because I care about feminism... and I think one of the best things we can do to advance feminism is to get more men on board. If we can convince more men that sexism screws up their lives, too -- and that life shared with free and equal women is a whole lot more fun -- we're going to get a lot more men on our side. (Like the bumpersticker a friend once had on her truck: "Feminists Fuck Better.")
So I've been looking more carefully at the specific ways sexism hurts men. In particular, I've been looking at our society's expectations of men, our very definitions of maleness. I've been looking at how rigid and narrow many of these expectations are, creating a razor-thin window of acceptable manly behavior that you'd have to be a professional tightrope walker to navigate. (Which would be a problem, since "professional tightrope walker" is definitely outside the parameters of acceptable manliness.) I've been looking at how so many of these expectations are not only rigid, but totally contradictory, creating a vision of idealized manhood that's not just ridiculous but literally unattainable. And I've been asking the men in my life -- friends, colleagues, family members, community members, guys I know on the Internet -- what kinds of expectations they get about Being A Man and how those expectations affect them.
Here is a list of five:
1. Fight, fight, fight! When I did my informal, unscientific poll of the men in my life and asked what was expected of them as men, this one came up a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like, an amount that took me seriously by surprise. My slice of society -- and the slice shared by most men I know -- is comfortably middle-class: educated, chatty, civilized to a fault, and mostly very peaceful. We resolve our conflicts with words, with glares, with strategies, with the law as a last resort. Even raised voices and insulting language are considered somewhat outre. Not counting sporting events, I could count on one hand the number of physical fights I've witnessed in the last decade. Or even threats of physical fights.
And yet, man after man that I talked to brought this one up. The willingness to, as my friend Michael put it, "actually, physically, with fists or other weapons, fight" -- to defend one's honor (or the honor of one's lady, or country, or sports team, or whatever) -- is more central to how men are taught to see manhood than I had any notion of. Even if conflicts never get that far -- even if you never actually have to pound anyone with your fists -- being both willing and able to do so is a weirdly high priority in the Penis Club. As Adam said, "You would rather get a concussion than be called less than a man." And Damion told me this story: "I'm in the passenger seat when my (relatively butch) sister-in-law flips off some guy in Baltimore traffic. He jumps out of the car, enraged, and my first thought is 'Great, now I've got to beat the shit out of this guy.'"
Which puts men in a nasty conundrum. The laws and expectations of our civilized society are designed to keep physical violence to a minimum. And for good reason: physical violence is, you know, destructive. So men are expected -- indeed required -- to avoid and deflect confrontation, and to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence.
And when they do, they get called pussies.
Nice.
2. Be a good husband/partner/lover -- but don't care too much what women think.
This one falls squarely into the category of "not just insanely rigid but logically contradictory" -- a damned if you do, damned if you don't conundrum that ensures a lifetime of self-conscious anxiety if you let yourself take it seriously. Being a good husband and father -- a good provider who cares for his family and treats women with respect -- is central to the male mythos. And being good in bed has become a crucial part of this mythos as well. It's no longer enough for a Real Man to nail a lot of women: he has to get every single one of them off. Performance anxiety -- it's not just for hard-ons anymore! Not that I have any problem with the idea that women's sexual pleasure ought to matter to men who have sex with them. The problem lies with the notion that women's sexual pleasure is entirely men's responsibility; that pleasing women ought to be completely instinctive; that women's satisfaction is a victory to be achieved instead of an experience to be shared; and that this satisfaction has to be accomplished entirely with the man's hard dick, and not with his hands or tongue or toys or mind. (But that's a rant for another time.)
Yet at the same time, men aren't supposed to care too much what women think. Years ago, when I was married to a man, we were trying to make some difficult decisions together about how to arrange our careers and lives (would he work full-time and maybe even overtime to help put me through grad school?). When he asked the guys he worked with for feedback and advice, he mostly got a load of derision for involving me too much in his decisions about his job. "Pussywhipped," I believe, was the charming terminology being used. Yes, he was supposed to be a good provider and build the financial foundation for our life... but he was somehow supposed to accomplish this without asking me what kind of life I wanted, and without any willingness to compromise about what kind of life he wanted. For himself, or for the two of us. I guess he was supposed to be The Decider.
Of course, while it was horribly unmanly for him to be guided by his wife, it was perfectly fine for him to be guided by the guys he worked with at the auto shop. As Scott said, the TV show "'King of Queens' is a good example, I think because though he tries to be a good husband and companion, he often finds himself in conflict with what his friends want or with his own sense of what should be considered masculine." Men's definitions of manhood are supposed to come from other men -- not from women. They're just not supposed to care all that much what women think of them.
You see this a lot in fashion advice for men. Men aren't supposed to look like dorks or slobs, of course... but they can't look like they care about their looks, either. Men -- straight men, anyway -- have to achieve that perfect, razor's edge balance between good grooming and carelessness. You're supposed to look good -- but those good looks have to seem effortless. Looking like you care how you look makes you look like a woman. Or a gay man. (More on that in a tic.) Women are supposed to be the ones prettying themselves up into objects of desire. Men are not supposed to be the objects of desire. They're supposed to be the subjects. And subjects aren't supposed to care what their objects think of them.
Except when they're trying to get those objects to come.
[facepalm]
3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
This is another expectation that came up with striking (although hardly surprising) frequency. Men are supposed to want sex -- and be ready for sex -- all the time. With pretty much anyone of the right gender who makes themselves available for it. In his evaluation of male gender roles, Michael T. says, "To be a man you must use sexual conquest as a gauge for manhood." Jraoul quoted a song, Lou Christie's "Lightning Strikes," with lyrics that go, "When I see her lips begging to be kissed, I can't stop, I can't stop myself... When I see a sign that she wants to make time, I can't stop, I can't stop myself...." And in his litany of male gender expectations, my friend Michael listed, "Have sex with any woman who says yes, or who offers herself. If not, I must be gay, right?"
It's weird. An intense, even predatory sexual desire is a big part of the Manly Man picture. And yet that picture doesn't allow for men to have preferences. Or rather: They're allowed and even expected to have preferences -- as long as those preferences conform with social norms. I vividly remember an article from a late '60s Playboy, analyzing men's personalities based on what kind of female bodies they liked: liking big breasts made you cool, while liking big butts or legs meant you were immature. And that's hardly a relic of the '60s: even today, lots of men feel pressured to date women who meet the current standards of female attractiveness. Lots of men, for instance, feel pressured to date fashionably thin women: even if they personally prefer women with more meat on their bones, they feel embarrassed introducing them to their buddies. Like dating a fat chick is a slam on their ego. Like it means they're not high enough on the primate status ladder to acquire a high-status mate.
So yes, men are allowed to be hotter for some girls than others. But they're still supposed to get it on with anything that moves and spreads its legs. Anything female and not grotesque, anyway. Men are expected to have sexual desire... but that desire can't be their own. It can't be idiosyncratic. Or even all that personal. It can't belong to them.
And for the sweet love of Loki and all the gods in Valhalla, it can't be based on emotion.
4. Stiff upper lip.
Because for men, nothing at all can be based on emotion. Generic sexual desire, and the desire to punch someone's lights out, are pretty much the only emotions men are supposed to experience. And if they have the gall (or the lack of self-control) to experience their emotions, they bloody well better not let on about it.
This one is so common, it's almost ubiquitous. At least half the men I talked to made a point about it... and a bunch of the ones who didn't mention it explicitly alluded to it in other ways. David B. says he learned that men are supposed to be "reserved emotionally. Apparently men are only supposed to be passionate about sex, cars, sports and beer. And even then, passionate is not the 'appropriate' way for a man to describe his feeling about something."
David M. got the same memo: "No whining, no complaining, and no crying." Michael T., got it, too: "To be a man you must be non emotional and disconnected." And the other Michael: "Have no emotional intelligence / don't show too many emotions." Andrew says he learned that a man "is supposed to be hard as nails and is to show no emotion." Jason learned that being a man means "not showing emotion, being 'tough' so to speak -- and that one is from peers, family and all of the above." Dean points out "the usual messages about big boys don't cry (yes, we do) and how a real man doesn't complain (yes, they do)." Scott also points to "the boys-don't-cry mantra." Ben T. says, "I hate the fact that men can't be scared of anything." James says he learned to appear emotionless so effectively that "I did not shed a single tear when my dad died during heart surgery." And Georges points out, "It always amazed me how brave I had to be to allow my feelings to show."
This one, I would argue, is more crippling than all the rest combined. I, personally, might be able to manage a life where I always had to be willing to fight or fuck; where I had to walk an impossible tightrope between caring what my partner thought without caring too much; where I had to twist myself into knots to avoid any hint that I might be attracted to people of the same sex. (See below.) But a life where I had to deny my most basic animal emotions -- love and fear, passion and grief -- just to not get treated as a gender freak? That would send me screaming 'round the bend. (More than I already am, I mean.)
5. Fear of being perceived as gay.
This is kind of a funny one. Acceptance of actual homosexuality has increased by a staggering amount in the last few decades. In less than 40 years, the LGBT rights movement has gone from fighting for our right to not be put in mental institutions and lobotomized, to fighting for our right to get legally married. (And, okay, the right to not be fired from our jobs or kicked out of the U.S. military... but still.) And social acceptance of queers has paralleled our political acceptance. If you actually are a gay man, the "Don't be even a little bit gay" message is being replaced, more and more every day, with the message, "Well... okay."
But if you're a straight man? It's a very different story. In TV shows and movies, homosexual panic is still a reliable source of comic hijinks. Wacky situations in which straight men are mistaken for gay -- Chandler and Joey on "Friends" being out together with a baby, the "Not that there's anything wrong with that" gag on "Seinfeld" -- these are a staple of modern comedy. And that staple is usually stapled to the assumption that, for straight men, being mistaken for gay is a humiliating blow to their masculinity. You see it in fashion/ dating/ etiquette advice for men, too, which often focuses to an almost hysterical degree on walking that razor- thin line between looking like an urbane, sophisticated man of the world... while still, for the sweet love of Jesus, not being mistaken for gay.
And you definitely see it in some very common male sexual fears. I've read way too many letters to way too many sex advice columns from way too many straight men saying they like -- how shall I put this delicately? -- being on the receiving end of anal pleasure... but don't want to explore this eminently delightful activity, because they're afraid it means they're gay. Or because their female partners are afraid it means they're gay. (Somewhat testy note to straight men and their female partners: No, it doesn't. Wanting a woman to fuck you in the ass does not make you gay. Any more than wanting a woman to suck your cock does. Please.)
Now, I will say that these attitudes are beginning to change. The advances of the LGBT movement have freed things up for straights as well as queers, and the younger generation is a lot more fluid and casual about sexual orientation than mine ever was. As my friend Ben pointed out, "The loosening of roles that accompanied feminism and the gay rights movement probably benefited straight men at least as much as it did women and gay men... Witness metrosexuality: now that being mistaken for gay isn't a disaster, men have more fashion leeway." And Adam, who describes himself as "effeminate, though heterosexual," says that being assumed to be gay "gave me a pass on some of the more restrictive rules of masculinity. After all, nobody really bothered to tell me to 'man up' when I sounded 'fruity' anyway."
But at the same time, as gay visibility has increased, the likelihood of being mistaken for gay has gone way, way up. And as a result, the number of opportunities for anxious, gay-panic freakouts has gone up as well. Being mistaken for gay isn't as disastrous as it once was -- it's more of a laugh line and less of a petrifying threat -- but it also happens a lot more often. And the anxiety it still creates for a lot of straight men is a lot more constant... even if it isn't as severe.
So What Now?
And I've just barely started. I don't have nearly enough space here to write the full-length novel I could write on this subject. I've skipped some of the biggest and most important gender expectations of men: the expectations of competition, of status consciousness, of financial success, strength and athleticism, leadership skills, mechanical skills, easy erectile functionality, a dehumanizing attitude towards women, giving a crap about sports. Heck, men get a clear social message that, in order to be manly, they have to be tall. What the heck are you supposed to do about that?
What the heck are any of us supposed to do about any of this?
Well, having unloaded all this depressing crap, I think it's important to deliver some good news: There are ways out of this, and around it, and through it. A lot of men I talked about this said that yes, they were certainly aware of the rigid expectations held of them as men... but they didn't personally feel hugely constrained by them. Sure, they were aware of these expectations. But they also felt comfortable rejecting them. Or embracing the parts they liked, and rejecting the parts they didn't. Or subverting them, in creative and fun and sexy ways.
And many men pointed out that, while they're certainly getting a super-sized serving of narrow, stupid cultural messages about How To Be A Man, they're also getting a decent helping of smarter, broader messages about Not Listening To That Stupid Shit. Plenty of men have gotten spiffy, role-modely lessons and examples about being non-violent, respectful of women, emotionally honest, sexually honest, and just generally their own best selves... from sources ranging from pop culture icons to their own fathers and mothers. As jraoul pointed out, "Do I think men are given rigid and/or narrow expectations about maleness? Well, sure! And we are also given fluid and/or wide ones. Depends on who's doing the giving."
Admittedly, because of my own personality and proclivities, the men in my life tend to be -- how shall we put this? -- outside the mainstream of conventional American society. ("Big nerdy pinko freaks" would be another way to put it.) And a lot of them are gay or bi, which skews the sampling even more. But just like lots of feminist women are able to laugh off the sitcoms and billboards and women's magazines and live however the frack we want, lots of feminist men are able to unload the John Wayne/Cary Grant/"What kind of man reads Playboy" crap they got loaded with -- or, depending on their generation, the Rambo/Tom Cruise/Maxim magazine crap -- and just get on with their lives.
Different people feel more affected by gender expectations than others. Some of us -- women and men alike -- still hear these voices in the back of our heads, still feel them shaping our reflexes, still see a need to consciously drag these messages into the light so we know how to recognize them and have an easier time tossing them overboard. And some folks -- again, both women and men -- feel like this is really not that big a deal. Yes, they say, society wants men to be one way and women to be another. Who cares what society wants? For some people, it takes years of introspection and therapy and processing to unload this junk. Some people never unlearn it, in fact; some people let their whole lives be run by it. And other people seem to unload it just by deciding to do it.
So I don't know what to tell you about how to do that.
All I can tell you is that it's totally worth it."
xoxo,
Rebel Deb
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