Time You Ran for the Border, Taco "Grade 'D' Worm Meat Still Counts... Right?" Bell!

Remember the section of my book where I talk about the worm-farmer's daughter? Well, according to her father, his best customer was.... you guessed it! Taco "We use Grade D Beef" Bell!

According to articles all over the web (and this one below from Socialife.com), Worm-Meat Bell is now being sued. And they're claiming the allegations are false and they use 100% ground beef. Riiiiiight. Like a worm-farmer would lie!

An Alabama law firm has filed a class action lawsuit against Taco Bell that claims the chain is falsely calling its taco filling “seasoned beef” and “seasoned ground beef” when allegedly the mixture, which would be more properly called “Taco Meat Filling,” only contains 36% beef. Um, WTF!?

Hmmm…so what the hell is in this filling? Hopefully not soylent green. Interestingly enough (or disgustingly enough) it includes…

Water
Wheat oats
Soy lecithin
Maltrodrextrin
Anti-dusting agent (?)
Autolyzed yeast extract
Modified corn starch
Sodium phosphate
Isolated oat product
The USDA defines “Taco Meat Filling” as 40% meat, so if the lawsuit is correct, it seems like Taco Bell would have to up their beef levels to even qualify for that. Anyway, please feel free to continue eating our gordita while I munch on my nacho bell grande. Because you know what, that shit still hits the spot.

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: BioDiesel Guy

... for reminding us all that investing in cleaner, 21st-century energies instead of clinging to destructive 20th-century greed will help us to:

1) End our reliance upon foreign oil, and with it our

2) Collective funding of potential terrorist/extremist groups; thereby,

3) Reducing the proportion of our tax dollars reserved for federal acts of wars, and -- oh YEAH! I almost forgot...

4) Save our planet from certain destruction and ALL OF US -- Democrats and Republicans -- from DEATH.

Because, really, who cares about keeping party lines when we have no fresh water left to drink and no clean air left to breathe? Apparently no one. At least, no one in Congress or any commentators on FOX news.

And now back to what Americans really care about: Lindsey Lohan's obvious alcoholism...

All Hail Paul, the Oracle Octopus!

Paul the Oracle Octopus goes eight for eight, is amazing

By Brooks Peck

Eight picks, eight correct, eight tentacles. Paul the Oracle Octopus is clearly the biggest winner of the World Cup after recording a perfect prognostication record whether he knows it or not (he probably doesn't).

The big question was whether Paul's predictive superpowers would translate to the final - the first match he was asked to predict that did not involve his native Germany. But such piddly concerns did not bother Paul. Mostly because he's an octopus. Just as he predicted, the European champions Spain became world champions for the first time with an Andres Iniesta goal in extra time. And as the Spanish celebrated, Paul floated in his tank, sure of his genius and probably craving a fresh clam.

Since Paul is an international celebrity of the highest order now, everyone wants a piece of him - both literally and figuratively. Italy is trying to claim that he was caught in Italian waters, Spanish businessmen are trying to buy him for €30,000 ($38,000), and Dutch priests tried to dismiss him.

But in Spain, Paul is an icon. The Spanish prime minister has already spoken of his desire to protect "Pulpo Paul" and the mock up of a new version of Spain's flag could be dangerously close to becoming real.

So what becomes of Paul now? Well, he'll probably continue to live out the remainder of his days at the Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany, no longer forced to pick his food out of flag-covered boxes while surrounded by an obscene number of media types. He will swim at his leisure and continue to be oblivious to the existence of sports. He will retire a winner and a global sensation - what every other octopus (and even a few pundits) wishes they could be.

All hail Paul.

Another Post-Hump Day Joke

Another funny one from the Net...

An old blacksmith relized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do."

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb