Time You Ran for the Border, Taco "Grade 'D' Worm Meat Still Counts... Right?" Bell!

Remember the section of my book where I talk about the worm-farmer's daughter? Well, according to her father, his best customer was.... you guessed it! Taco "We use Grade D Beef" Bell!

According to articles all over the web (and this one below from Socialife.com), Worm-Meat Bell is now being sued. And they're claiming the allegations are false and they use 100% ground beef. Riiiiiight. Like a worm-farmer would lie!

An Alabama law firm has filed a class action lawsuit against Taco Bell that claims the chain is falsely calling its taco filling “seasoned beef” and “seasoned ground beef” when allegedly the mixture, which would be more properly called “Taco Meat Filling,” only contains 36% beef. Um, WTF!?

Hmmm…so what the hell is in this filling? Hopefully not soylent green. Interestingly enough (or disgustingly enough) it includes…

Water
Wheat oats
Soy lecithin
Maltrodrextrin
Anti-dusting agent (?)
Autolyzed yeast extract
Modified corn starch
Sodium phosphate
Isolated oat product
The USDA defines “Taco Meat Filling” as 40% meat, so if the lawsuit is correct, it seems like Taco Bell would have to up their beef levels to even qualify for that. Anyway, please feel free to continue eating our gordita while I munch on my nacho bell grande. Because you know what, that shit still hits the spot.

Tool of the Month: Prince Albert of Monaco

Who the hell would want to have sex with this guy? He looks like my middle-school bus driver.

Yet, according to the Associated Press:

Albert acknowledged that he had fathered a boy, Alexandre, out of wedlock by a former flight attendant. The following year, he acknowledged an American daughter, Jazmin Grace Grimaldi, now a teenager, born to a California woman. Neither can assume the throne because they were born out of wedlock. Pringle suggested that Albert's advancing age, and the long time since his mother's passing, meant that the time was right for him to give up bachelorhood. "He's 50-something. It's time," she said.

YA THINK?? What a sleaze-ball. Read the whole story HERE.

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Stuff Hipsters Hate: When Their Friends Go to Law School

from http://lizbert.tumblr.com

"Janelle: Hey dude, Jason is having a fucking awesome party tonight at some loft in Bushwick. Wanna get there early? Like 1 a.m. or somethin’?

Tyron: Sorry, lady. I have to study.

Janelle: What the fuck do you have to study for? You’ve been outta school for five years…

Tyron: The LSATs.

Janelle. Are you shitting me?

Tyron: Naw, I mean, this whole poet thing isn’t really working out. I mean, no one wants to pay me to write, so I figured I would, like, learn a trade.

Janelle: Are you going to be an LSAT tutor…?

Tyron: No, asshole. I’m going to law school.

Janelle: What the fuck? When have you ever expressed interest in the law? You don’t even like motherfucking Law & Order—and there’s like six versions of that show to choose from.

Tyron: Well, lawyers make a lot of money, which is something I don’t have. I can’t shelve books at an indie bookstore and do poetry slams forever, Jan. I can’t. I need stuff like, I dunno, a real bed. A room with walls. Last week I brought this chick home and she took one look at my so-called room—a shower curtain and bed sheets do not a bedroom make—and announced that she had to get up early. She’s a fucking freelancer. How many freelancers do you know who have to “get up early”? I can’t deal with this anymore, dude. I need to eat. I need to get laid. I need cash. I mean, yeah, I would probably have to wear a suit year-round to cover up my sleeve tats, and, sure, I would have to shave more often and probably move to Manhattan and drink with I-bankers at shitty places like Blondies, and I would most definitely have to pretend to get excited about sports and shit—but I can do it. I can suck it up. I’m almost 30. It’s time to get serious.

Janelle: Dude, you’re not going to get into law school. I mean, that’s just a stone cold fucking science fact.

Tyron: Why the fuck not? I got like fucking straight A’s in college.

Janelle: Well, for one, you majored in abstract sculpture and Victorian poetry, and two, the most experience you’ve had with the legal system was that time you got arrested for breaking into that construction site, getting smashed and passing out in your own vomit.

Tyron: Dude. That was like a fucking minor offense. Like, you know, a misnomer.

Janelle: Um. I rest my case."

xoxo,
Rebel

This Week's Celeb Rebel Deb: Sandra Bullock

OH, yes, Sandra B. Whether you're winning Oscars or kicking your lyin', cheatin' hubby out on his douche-bag dumper... you're always rocking our world. You're a Southern girl (who graduated from my Momma's alma mater, ECU!), a kick-ass, down-to-earth celeb, and we Rebel Debs salute you.

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

How to Spot a D-Bag... Part I