Quote for the Day... "Light travels faster than sound, that's why a person is perceived as bright until s/he opens her mouth."

Butters Discovers Her Theatrical Side

Have a Merry, Zombie Christmas!

Watch out, kid... those brains look mighty tasty!

Justin and I traipsed through the snow last night, schlepping from the East Village of Manhattan into deep, dark Prospect Park, to attend my good friend, Katie's, holiday party. As if the promise free booze, food and friendship weren't prize enough for our travels, this delightful invitation made us committed to the trek:

"I was going to write a long explanation of why we all could use a party, and how we haven’t seen some of you for too long, etc. etc. But you know all of that already. Instead I’ll just include this mash-up of us, Little Women, and zombies:

"CHRISTMAS won't be Christmas without any presents," grumbled Kevin, lying on the rug.

"It's so dreadful to be poor!" sighed Katie, looking down at her old dress.

"I don't think it's fair for some zombies to have plenty of brains, and other zombies nothing at all," added a little zombie, with an injured sniff.

"We've got father and mother and each other," said Peter contentedly, from his corner.

The four young faces on which the firelight shone brightened at the cheerful words, but darkened again as Katie said sadly, —

"We haven't got father, and shall not have him for a long time." She didn't say "perhaps never," but each silently added it, thinking of father far away, where the fighting was.

Nobody spoke for a minute; then Kevin said in an altered tone,—

"You know the reason mother proposed not having any presents this Christmas was because it is going to be a hard winter for every one; and she thinks we ought not to spend money for pleasure, when our men are suffering so in the army of darkness. We can't do much, but we can make our little sacrifices, and ought to do it gladly. But I am afraid I don't;" and Kevin shook his head, as he thought regretfully of all the pretty things he wanted.

"But I don't think the little we should spend would do any good. We've each got a dollar, and the army wouldn't be much helped by our giving that. I agree not to expect anything from mother or you, but I do want to buy Undine and Sintram for myself; I've wanted it so long," said Katie, who was a bookworm.

"I planned to spend mine in new music," said Peter, with a little sigh, which no one heard but the hearth-brush and kettle-holder.

"I shall get a nice box of Faber's drawing-pencils; I really need them," said Kevin decidedly.

"Mother didn't say anything about our money, and she won't wish us to give up everything. Let's each buy what we want, and throw a party, and have a little fun; I'm sure we work hard enough to earn it," cried Katie, examining the heels of her shoes in a gentlemanly manner."

I love having witty friends, who love to nerd-it-up in literary fashion... with appropriately-timed zombie references... just like me!

xoxo,
Rebel Deb

But I LOVE It, Mr. Angry Barbecue!

This Winter Stuff is for the Birds

This is How I Feel After a Big, Holiday Dinner...

The Apocalypse Awaits (again!), and Its Name is Fluffy.

The Jackasses of 2009...

reposted from Yahoo news...

"Condemning the rich and famous for straying from the public persona may be a ruthless spectator sport, but the urge to forgive the penitent also runs deep. In 2009, the crimes and concessions kept coming, from the relatively mild to the straight-out bizarre. Below, in chronological order, the apologists which drew lots of Web attention in 2009.

• Michael Phelps. One moment, you're a record-breaking Olympian manfish. The next, you're a fallible fellow caught in a misdemeanor. His Feb. 2 apology came swiftly after a British newspaper posted party pics of Phelps with a cannabis pipe. A South Carolina sheriff seemed out to get him, but the gold medalist got away with a three-month ban and losing a Kellogg deal.

• Christian Bale. Foul-mouthed rants seemed so 2007, but the actor cussed out a director of photography on the "Terminator Salvation" set for ruining his concentration. The tape leaked Feb. 2, which inspired a week of remixes and parodies. Bale manned up the old-fashioned way: by calling into the radio station that played snippets all week. As to who owes apologies for the movie's lukewarm reception—that's still unclear.

• Rupert Murdoch. The Post's published apology following its infamous Feb. 18 chimp cartoon (meant to tie together headlines about a chimpanzee attack and the Obama stimulus package) didn't appease many. Chairman Murdoch gave it a go, and got better results.

• Michael Steele. In the March scramble for the title of de facto lead of the Republican party, the RNC chairman agreed that Rush Limbaugh was "incendiary...and ugly." That didn't sit well with the radio host, and within two days Steele clarified his "inarticulate" comments.

• Mark Sanford. How the South Carolina governor's tale of infidelity unfolded over Father's Day Weekend was odd, and so was the tearful and meandering press conference on June 24. Once he started, he couldn't stop talking about his "soul mate" and "crossing the line." The 2012 GOP hopeful may still face ethical charges. His estranged wife? Book deal.

• Chris Brown. The singing/acting prodigy became a villain in a domestic-violence dispute with celebrity girlfriend, Rihanna, on Grammy night (Feb. 8). Brown's posted apology on July 20 received mixed reviews, and the incident inspired dueling albums. Brown—sentenced to a five-year probation—plans to tell all in a Dec. 11 "20/20" interview. For her part, Rihanna has rebounded.

• Kanye West. Slamming a president is one thing, but trashing an ingenue's first VMA Awards moment is another. The hip-hop artist got booted after he interrupted Taylor Swift's Best Female Video win on Sept. 13. His chain of apologies began on his blog (twice), continued on Jay Leno, and concluded with a direct phone call.

• David Letterman. The "Late Night" host had to issue multiple mea culpas: The first was for a poor joke directed at the daughter of then-Alaska governor Sarah Palin. The whopper came in the fall, when he 'fessed up to workplace affairs after an alleged blackmail scheme. The Oct. 5 apology came four days later, reportedly at some urging.

• Steve Phillips. An affair with an obsessed a 22-year-old coworker, a divorce filing from his wife of 19 years, and an October firing: No wonder the only thing left for the ESPN baseball analyst, 46, was to be "deeply sorry" on Oct. 21 and hide away in rehab for sex addiction until the next act."

How 'Bout We Change His Name from "Tiger" to "Cheetah?"

Santa's Little Helper

Black Friday Makes for a Blue Tuesday

Whatever Happened to Getting Lumps of Coal?

Turkey Porn: How our Favorite Birds Deal with the Stress of the Holidays...

Oh, yeah, baby... Eat Mor Chikin...

The Apocalypse Awaits, and It Wears Bumpits

Does Wayne Brady Need to Slap a Bitch?!

The Rebel Debutante on "Mad Men"

Here's what the Rebel Deb would look like, if she were a character on AMC's "Mad Men":
An ounce of Joan with a POUND of Peggy... a gutsy, determined, intelligent go-getter... with a (not-so) secret sexy side... :)

Thank You, PETA, for Keeping Us All Safe

This Time, Santa, You're Goin' DOWN

The (not-so-secret) Secret to Miley's Success...

Gettin' Ready for Christmas with a Lil' Holiday Humor...

1...2... Turkey's Coming for You!

Dat's My Kinda Snowmen!

And, Thus, It Came to be Known by All the Good Little Children of the World as... the Christmas Dildo.

Zombie Babies: Just Another Reason to *LOVE* Halloween.

Rude Bathroom Instructions: Only in New York.

"Liger Dog": Probably the Coolest Pet on the Planet.

This Shit Has GOT to STOP.

Check out a picture of the 15-year-old victim of a recent San Francisco gang-rape... this poor child was sexually assaulted, beaten and taunted by as many as 20 different men and boys -- ranging from 15 to 20 years old! WTF, people? Is rape considered some kind of sport?

According to Jezebel.com...


Brace yourself for the most stomach-turning story in a long time: on Friday, a 15-year-old girl was brutally gang-raped after a homecoming dance in a suburb of San Francisco, while as many as 15 teenage boys stood around, doing nothing.

The victim was leaving the dance in Richmond, CA — a suburb of San Francisco, not too far from Antioch, where Phillip Garrido held Jaycee Dugard — when a classmate invited her to drink with him in a secluded area near the school. She agreed, becoming so inebriated that she fell over, at which point as many as seven young men raped her, beat her, took photographs, and stole her jewelry. They assaulted her for two-and-a-half hours, injuring her so badly that she had to be flown from the scene in critical condition.

A gang rape always has the added awfulness that the rapists are comfortable enough with their crime to commit it in front of others. This case is especially bad because the girl's attackers continued in front of multiple witnesses, assuming that they would do nothing. That assumption was correct. In fact, it was someone hearing about the assault at a local house party who called the cops. Richmond police lieutenant Mark Gagan said, "What makes it even more disturbing is the presence of others. People came by, saw what was happening, and failed to report it."

At first I thought this was a Kitty Genovese situation, in which indifferent bystanders failed to help a crime victim. In fact, it's worse. CNN's Nick Valencia writes that, "as many as 15 people, all males, stood around watching the assault, but did not call police or help the victim." Gagan adds, "As people announced over time that this was going on, more people came to see, and some actually participated." This isn't a case of people turning their heads away and saying "none of my business." It's a situation in which 15 boys and men (one suspect in custody is 19, the other 15) treating public, brutal assault as a form of entertainment.

Anyone who went to a big, rough high school has seen this happen with a fight — everybody in the school rushes to the scene, cheering, booing, and even joining in as kids beat each other up. This practice is bad enough, exposing teen bloodlust and lack of compassion, but adding sexual assault to the mix makes the onlookers' situation all the more heinous. That all said onlookers were male seems important here — were they so afraid of having their masculinity questioned that they couldn't say anything? Or, more disturbingly, were they enthusiastic about the event, participating, however vicariously, in some kind of conquest? Whatever the case, not one, not two, but fifteen young men watched a gang-rape take place and essentially chose to side with the rapists — as Yes Means Yes would say, "that's rape culture."

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Oh, Those Crazy Kardashians!

Nothing says lovin' like big, wax lips... Check out this Yahoo news report! (or don't. I mean, aren't there more important world issues you could reading about? Like health care? Or abolishing the death penalty? Yeah... didn't think so... so keep reading!)

"In photos posted on her blog, Khloe Kardashian Odom revealed that she and husband Lamar Odom received matching tattoos to commemorate the lifelong love they sealed by exchanging marriage vows last month.

The "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" star and the Lakers forward inked each other's initials onto their hands. The "KO" on Odom's hand reflects the bride's announcement that she was changing her name to Khloe Kardashian Odom, while the "LO" on Khloe's hand could possibly double as shorthand for "Lo, this is a terrible idea."

For any young people who would like to model their lives after celebrities, you can follow the Kardashian-Odom model of love in four quick steps: (1) Meet. (2) Announce wedding plans one month later. (3) Realize belatedly you need a prenup and sign it three weeks after the wedding. (4) Get tattoos!

(Please note that this model only works if the bride has her own reality show.)"

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Even Porcupines Have Mommy Issues

Weekend Progress Report

Butters Gets Eaten by a Bush!

As his helpless Rebel Debutante mother looks on...

Recession Santa: Coming Soon to a Street Corner Near You

Alien Baby!

...or, at least, a kid with some kick-ass parents, who happen to remember mega-hit sci-fi horror movies from the '70's. I totally think this should be my choice of Halloween costume:




xoxo,
Rebel Deb

The Hunt for the Perfect Halloween Costume Begins... NOW

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in quite a while:


So, yeah. I'm thinking I may need a new costume.

So far, it's between...

1) Slutty nurse

2) Slutty maid

3) Slutty cheerleader (are we seeing a pattern emerge?)

4) Joel McHale from "The Soup"

5) Jodie Foster. (I get a lot of "you look just like her"'s! Being compared to an uber talented, yet 50-something, hardcore lesbian isn't exactly great for my love life. But I can't seem to beat them, so I might as well join them. And Halloween may just be the perfect time to become a total conformist.)

6) Slutty "Grey's Anatomy" character (but which one?? There's sooo many.), or...

7) Slutty reality TV star. (Aka "Heather" from Rock of Love, John Gosselin and/or anyone from "The Real World" Las Vegas)

The hunt continues!

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

My Ultimate Fear... Well, Right After "Rock of Love IV."

Monday Morning Homage to Jefferson Starship

Catholic Pride Parade, October 11, 2010.

Only in North Carolina...

ROBESON COUNTY, N.C. — Cumberland County detectives found a trailer full of stolen ladies lingerie Thursday and connected it to a 2005 theft.

Authorities said the trailer, found off Mabe Road in Robeson County, had been reported missing from the Maidenform plant in
Fayetteville four years ago. It contained about $400,000 worth of bras and other undergarments.

Detectives connected the stolen underwear to sales on Craig's List. They are trying to determine who is responsible for the theft and the subsequent attempted sale.

In the meantime, folks have been making do with this handy-dandy replacement...



xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Congrats to Our President, Who Deserves His Nobel Prize!

Never before has any American President inspired so many who, for so long, never bothered to vote because they believed (rightly) that the government had overlooked them. That, because of their race and class, our system had given up on them.

Thank you, Obama, for helping to inspire and give hope back to so many Americans. You make me proud to count myself one of them.

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Finally, Some Rest for the Weary...

For Edgar Allan Poe, 2009 has been a better year than 1849. After dozens of events in several cities to mark the 200th anniversary of his birth, he's about to get the grand funeral that a writer of his stature should have received when he died.

One hundred sixty years ago, the beleaguered, impoverished Poe was found, delirious and in distress outside a Baltimore tavern. He was never coherent enough to explain what had befallen him since leaving Richmond, Va., a week earlier. He spent four days in a hospital before he died at age 40.

Poe's cousin, Neilson Poe, never announced his death publicly. Fewer than 10 people attended the hasty funeral for one of the 19th century's greatest writers. And the injustices piled on. Poe's tombstone was destroyed before it could be installed, when a train derailed and crashed into a stonecutter's yard. Rufus Griswold, a Poe enemy, published a libelous obituary that damaged Poe's reputation for decades.

But on Sunday, Poe's funeral will get an elaborate do-over, with two services expected to draw about 350 people each — the most a former church next to his grave can hold. Actors portraying Poe's contemporaries and other long-dead writers and artists will pay their respects, reading eulogies adapted from their writings about Poe.

"We are following the proper etiquette for funerals. We want to make it as realistic as possible," said Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum.

Advance tickets are sold out, although Jerome will make some seats available at the door to ensure packed houses. Fans are traveling from as far away as Vietnam.

The funeral is arguably the splashiest of a year's worth of events honoring the 200th anniversary of Poe's birth. Along with Baltimore — where he spent some of his leanest years in the mid-1830s — Poe lived in or has strong connections to Boston, New York, Philadelphia and Richmond.

With the funeral angle covered, the Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Richmond staged a re-enactment last weekend of his death. Those with a more academic interest in Poe can attend the Poe Studies Association's annual conference from Thursday through Sunday in Philadelphia.

Visitors in Baltimore for the funeral can enjoy a new exhibit at the Baltimore Museum of Art, "Edgar Allan Poe: A Baltimore Icon," which includes chilling illustrations to "The Raven" by Edouard Manet.

Baltimore has a decided advantage over the other cities that lay claim to Poe, notes BMA director Doreen Bolger. "We have the body," she said.

This week, that's true in more ways than one. Jerome said he's gotten calls from people who thought he was going to exhume Poe's remains and rebury them.

"When they dug up Poe's body in 1875 to move it, it was mostly skeletal remains," Jerome said. "I've seen remains of people who've been in the ground since that time period, and there's hardly anything left."

Instead, Jerome commissioned local special-effects artist Eric Supensky to create an eerily lifelike — or deathlike — mock-up of Poe's corpse.

"I got chills," Jerome said Monday upon seeing the body for the first time. "This is going to freak people out."

The body will lie in state for 12 hours Wednesday at the Poe House, a tiny rowhome in a gritty section of west Baltimore. Visitors are invited to pay their respects.

Following the viewing will be an all-night vigil at Poe's grave at Westminster Burying Ground. Anyone who attends will have the opportunity to deliver a tribute.

On Sunday morning, a horse-drawn carriage will transport the replica of Poe's body from his former home to the graveyard for the funeral.

Actor John Astin, best known as Gomez Addams on TV's "The Addams Family," will serve as master of ceremonies...



"It's sort of a way of saying, 'Well, Eddie, your first funeral wasn't a very good one, but we're going to try to make it up to you, because we have so much respect for you,'" said Astin, who toured as Poe for years in a one-man show.

The service won't be a total lovefest, however. The first eulogy will come from none other than Griswold.

"People are asking me, 'Jeff, why are you inviting him? He hated Poe!'" Jerome said. "The reason is, most of these people defended Poe in response to what he said about Poe's life, so we can't have this service without having old Rufus sitting in the
front row, spewing forth his hatred."

Eulogies will follow from actors portraying, among others, Sarah Helen Whitman, a minor poet whom Poe courted after his wife's death, and Walt Whitman, who attended the dedication of Poe's new gravestone in 1875 but didn't feel well enough to speak. Writers and artists influenced by Poe, including Arthur Conan Doyle and Alfred Hitchcock, will also be represented.

Jerome expects to cry — one reason he won't be speaking. Even his rivals are impressed with the scale of the tribute.

"Annoyed as I am with Baltimore sometimes, I have to give them credit," said Philadelphia-based Poe scholar Edward Pettit, who argues his city was of greater importance to Poe's life and literary career. "Baltimore has done an awful lot to maintain the legacy of Poe over the last 100-some years."

Bad Bambi! Bad!

What's Up With The Vampire Movie/TV Show/Book Obsession, People?

Check Out This SIBA Shout-Out!

Yay! People wanna read my book!

See what they have to say here...

xoxo

Rebel Deb

Random Thought for the Day...

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

-- Jack Handy

I'm Boycotting Tucker Max's Book -- and (trust me) You Should, Too!

This douche-bag... pictured below...



... apparently thinks raping women is "funny."

Click here to read the whole story. His sexist, frat boy, woman-hating "humor" includes stories of leaving a sex partner naked on the street, having a buddy hide in his closet to videotape him having sex with an unsuspecting woman (illegal in most states) and calling women who bother to go to college "wastes of space." He even says "fat" women "aren't even people."

Please, ya'll, if you care about your mothers/sisters/daughters -- or about women's rights in general -- join me in boycotting Tucker Max's book, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell." I couldn't be more serious about what a horrible person this guy is, and what a threat he (and the many men -- and sometimes, even women -- like him) pose to us all.

Do we really want to live in a world where rape is "funny?"

I. Don't. Think. So.

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Aww... Remember the 80's? Don't They Look All Grown-Up Now?