Monday, October 19, 2009

The Hunt for the Perfect Halloween Costume Begins... NOW

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in quite a while:


So, yeah. I'm thinking I may need a new costume.

So far, it's between...

1) Slutty nurse

2) Slutty maid

3) Slutty cheerleader (are we seeing a pattern emerge?)

4) Joel McHale from "The Soup"

5) Jodie Foster. (I get a lot of "you look just like her"'s! Being compared to an uber talented, yet 50-something, hardcore lesbian isn't exactly great for my love life. But I can't seem to beat them, so I might as well join them. And Halloween may just be the perfect time to become a total conformist.)

6) Slutty "Grey's Anatomy" character (but which one?? There's sooo many.), or...

7) Slutty reality TV star. (Aka "Heather" from Rock of Love, John Gosselin and/or anyone from "The Real World" Las Vegas)

The hunt continues!

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Friday, October 9, 2009

Only in North Carolina...

ROBESON COUNTY, N.C. — Cumberland County detectives found a trailer full of stolen ladies lingerie Thursday and connected it to a 2005 theft.

Authorities said the trailer, found off Mabe Road in Robeson County, had been reported missing from the Maidenform plant in
Fayetteville four years ago. It contained about $400,000 worth of bras and other undergarments.

Detectives connected the stolen underwear to sales on Craig's List. They are trying to determine who is responsible for the theft and the subsequent attempted sale.

In the meantime, folks have been making do with this handy-dandy replacement...



xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Congrats to Our President, Who Deserves His Nobel Prize!



Never before has any American President inspired so many who, for so long, never bothered to vote because they believed (rightly) that the government had overlooked them. That, because of their race and class, our system had given up on them.

Thank you, Obama, for helping to inspire and give hope back to so many Americans. You make me proud to count myself one of them.

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Finally, Some Rest for the Weary...


For Edgar Allan Poe, 2009 has been a better year than 1849. After dozens of events in several cities to mark the 200th anniversary of his birth, he's about to get the grand funeral that a writer of his stature should have received when he died.

One hundred sixty years ago, the beleaguered, impoverished Poe was found, delirious and in distress outside a Baltimore tavern. He was never coherent enough to explain what had befallen him since leaving Richmond, Va., a week earlier. He spent four days in a hospital before he died at age 40.

Poe's cousin, Neilson Poe, never announced his death publicly. Fewer than 10 people attended the hasty funeral for one of the 19th century's greatest writers. And the injustices piled on. Poe's tombstone was destroyed before it could be installed, when a train derailed and crashed into a stonecutter's yard. Rufus Griswold, a Poe enemy, published a libelous obituary that damaged Poe's reputation for decades.

But on Sunday, Poe's funeral will get an elaborate do-over, with two services expected to draw about 350 people each — the most a former church next to his grave can hold. Actors portraying Poe's contemporaries and other long-dead writers and artists will pay their respects, reading eulogies adapted from their writings about Poe.

"We are following the proper etiquette for funerals. We want to make it as realistic as possible," said Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum.

Advance tickets are sold out, although Jerome will make some seats available at the door to ensure packed houses. Fans are traveling from as far away as Vietnam.

The funeral is arguably the splashiest of a year's worth of events honoring the 200th anniversary of Poe's birth. Along with Baltimore — where he spent some of his leanest years in the mid-1830s — Poe lived in or has strong connections to Boston, New York, Philadelphia and Richmond.

With the funeral angle covered, the Edgar Allan Poe Museum in Richmond staged a re-enactment last weekend of his death. Those with a more academic interest in Poe can attend the Poe Studies Association's annual conference from Thursday through Sunday in Philadelphia.

Visitors in Baltimore for the funeral can enjoy a new exhibit at the Baltimore Museum of Art, "Edgar Allan Poe: A Baltimore Icon," which includes chilling illustrations to "The Raven" by Edouard Manet.

Baltimore has a decided advantage over the other cities that lay claim to Poe, notes BMA director Doreen Bolger. "We have the body," she said.

This week, that's true in more ways than one. Jerome said he's gotten calls from people who thought he was going to exhume Poe's remains and rebury them.

"When they dug up Poe's body in 1875 to move it, it was mostly skeletal remains," Jerome said. "I've seen remains of people who've been in the ground since that time period, and there's hardly anything left."

Instead, Jerome commissioned local special-effects artist Eric Supensky to create an eerily lifelike — or deathlike — mock-up of Poe's corpse.

"I got chills," Jerome said Monday upon seeing the body for the first time. "This is going to freak people out."

The body will lie in state for 12 hours Wednesday at the Poe House, a tiny rowhome in a gritty section of west Baltimore. Visitors are invited to pay their respects.

Following the viewing will be an all-night vigil at Poe's grave at Westminster Burying Ground. Anyone who attends will have the opportunity to deliver a tribute.

On Sunday morning, a horse-drawn carriage will transport the replica of Poe's body from his former home to the graveyard for the funeral.

Actor John Astin, best known as Gomez Addams on TV's "The Addams Family," will serve as master of ceremonies...



"It's sort of a way of saying, 'Well, Eddie, your first funeral wasn't a very good one, but we're going to try to make it up to you, because we have so much respect for you,'" said Astin, who toured as Poe for years in a one-man show.

The service won't be a total lovefest, however. The first eulogy will come from none other than Griswold.

"People are asking me, 'Jeff, why are you inviting him? He hated Poe!'" Jerome said. "The reason is, most of these people defended Poe in response to what he said about Poe's life, so we can't have this service without having old Rufus sitting in the
front row, spewing forth his hatred."

Eulogies will follow from actors portraying, among others, Sarah Helen Whitman, a minor poet whom Poe courted after his wife's death, and Walt Whitman, who attended the dedication of Poe's new gravestone in 1875 but didn't feel well enough to speak. Writers and artists influenced by Poe, including Arthur Conan Doyle and Alfred Hitchcock, will also be represented.

Jerome expects to cry — one reason he won't be speaking. Even his rivals are impressed with the scale of the tribute.

"Annoyed as I am with Baltimore sometimes, I have to give them credit," said Philadelphia-based Poe scholar Edward Pettit, who argues his city was of greater importance to Poe's life and literary career. "Baltimore has done an awful lot to maintain the legacy of Poe over the last 100-some years."

Bad Bambi! Bad!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Friday, October 2, 2009

Random Thought for the Day...

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

-- Jack Handy




Thursday, October 1, 2009

I'm Boycotting Tucker Max's Book -- and (trust me) You Should, Too!

This douche-bag... pictured below...



... apparently thinks raping women is "funny."

Click here to read the whole story. His sexist, frat boy, woman-hating "humor" includes stories of leaving a sex partner naked on the street, having a buddy hide in his closet to videotape him having sex with an unsuspecting woman (illegal in most states) and calling women who bother to go to college "wastes of space." He even says "fat" women "aren't even people."

Please, ya'll, if you care about your mothers/sisters/daughters -- or about women's rights in general -- join me in boycotting Tucker Max's book, "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell." I couldn't be more serious about what a horrible person this guy is, and what a threat he (and the many men -- and sometimes, even women -- like him) pose to us all.

Do we really want to live in a world where rape is "funny?"

I. Don't. Think. So.

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Aww... Remember the 80's? Don't They Look All Grown-Up Now?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West Doesn't Care About White People!




Kanye probably felt like an asinine fool, so he quickly posted this apology to his official website, which is currently down. Check out how *not effing crazy* Kanye is...


"I’M SOOOOO SORRY TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND HER FANS AND HER MOM. I SPOKE TO HER MOTHER RIGHT AFTER AND SHE SAID THE SAME THING MY MOTHER WOULD’VE SAID. SHE IS VERY TALENTED! I LIKE THE LYRICS ABOUT BEING A CHEERLEADER AND SHE’S IN THE BLEACHERS! …………………… I’M IN THE WRONG FOR GOING ON STAGE AND TAKING AWAY FROM HER MOMENT!…………….. BEYONCE’S VIDEO WAS THE BEST OF THIS DECADE!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FANS IF I LET YOU GUYS DOWN!!!! I’M SORRY TO MY FRIENDS AT MTV. I WILL APOLOGIZE TO TAYLOR 2MRW. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!!!! EVERYBODY WANNA BOOOOO ME BUT I’M A FAN OF REAL POP CULTURE!!! NO DISRESPECT BUT WE WATCHIN’ THE SHOW AT THE CRIB RIGHT NOW CAUSE … WELL YOU KNOW!!!! I’M STILL HAPPY FOR TAYLOR!!!! BOOOYAAAWWWW!!!! YOU ARE VERY VERY TALENTED!!! I GAVE MY AWARDS TO OUTKAST WHEN THEY DESERVED IT OVER ME… THAT’S WHAT IT IS!!!!!!! I’M NOT CRAZY YALL, I’M JUST REAL. SORRY FOR THAT!!! I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR TAYLOR AND I’M SINCERELY SORRY!!! MUCH RESPECT!!!!!"

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Come Support Your Rebel Deb!


Hey, Ya'll!

I'll be speaking at the SOUTHERN INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE (SIBA) TRADE SHOW on Friday, Saturday 25th at 11AM. So, if you (or anyone you know) is a local bookstore owner, come on by and give me a shout!

Here's the deets...

11:00 AM
September 25th, 2009
SOUTHERN INDEPENDENT BOOKSELLERS ALLIANCE (SIBA) TRADE SHOW
Panel Discussion & Signing
One Exposition Drive
Room 104 A
Greenville, SC 29607

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

The Rebel Deb in a Former Life: Part-Time Writer, Full-Time FREAK

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Welcome to the Not-So-Justice System!


A couple days ago, I trotted down to my local "Hall of Justice" to try and have my boyfriend's recent traffic ticket revoked.

See, he was driving my car in Winston-Salem, NC. And since I've been in NYC for, say, the past 3+ years, I hadn't yet taken the time to renew my tags...

Ruh-roh. Maybe you can see where this is going...

Anywho. While driving my car, we're pulled over by a local good 'ol boy cop. He's very polite, and since I "look like a nice young lady and all," tells me that he must give my boyfriend a ticket but that, "if you call the District Attorney's office, they'll dismiss the ticket."

Literally, folks. Those were his exact words.

Anywho. A couple days later, I start calling the DA's office. After an entire week of my calling and being told to "leave a message and we'll call you back" by the DA's answering service -- with no one ever actually calling me back, of course -- I finally head down to take care of the ticket in person.

And what am I told when I arrive?

These are exact quotes, ya'll... get this:

DA Office Worker: "Cops lie all the time. I wouldn't trust what he said."

Me: "Um... well, then, how are citizens supposed to know the law if officers of the court -- whose job it is to enforce it and, thus, serve and protect the public -- blatantly lie?"

DA Office Worker: "No comment."

Me: "... Okay. So, what happens if my boyfriend won't be in the state of NC to show up in court about this ticket?"

DA Office Worker:
"I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."

Me:
"... Okay. Can you at least tell me if he'll get points on his driving record?"

DA Office Worker:
"I don't know."

Me: "Well, who would?"

DA Office Worker:
"Maybe the DMV."

Me: "Okay. Can I call them, or go down to their office and ask?"

DA Office Worker:
"I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."

Me: "I need to ask an attorney just to see if I should go down to the DMV?"

DA Office Worker: "Yeah. But they'll lie to you, too. You know, just so you'll pay the ticket and fees and all."

Me: "Um... how is all this lying to the public legal?"

DA Office Worker: "I don't know. You may want to contact an attorney about that. I can't give legal advice."

Me: "No comment."

Welcome to the Not-So-Justice Department, folks! Isn't bureaucracy GREAT?

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Friday, September 4, 2009

I Will Never, EVER Use Priceline EVER Again. And Neither Should You.


Priceline put the wrong name on my boyfriend's ticket, then wouldn't admit to their mistake, and also wouldn't refund our money. He missed his flight tonight, ruining our Labor Day weekend. I will never, ever use a third party ticket vendor again.

Step Into My Office.... (sssh! the cats are listening!)

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Birthday Par-TAAAAAY!



Tonight is my belated birthday extravaganza, betches!

I can't wait. I'm having lunch with Katie from the PR department at Penguin today. Then, I'm picking up my birthday cake -- chocolate devil's food with chocolate buttercream icing -- tonight at 7pm.

Between then, I think the man and I will go for a run... if it ever stops raining in Manhattan, that is. Wouldn't you know it, the weekend I come to visit, we're hit by a tropical storm!

Rain, rain, go away -- come again to somebody ELSE'S birthday!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Hey, You! Stop Fighting With Your Sister!

Me giving Princess Vespa a stern "talking-to" this morning after I found more bite marks on Butters ears...



What's a cat-mommy to do??

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Cats Hate Me.

My new kittens hate me. They must, I believe, to ruin my quiet time like they do.

Their usual routine is to spend all night -- every night -- fighting with each other. I try and work around their constant mewling and bawling. I step over them as they bite and claw at each others' necks. I am awoken to the sound of the pair of them rolling down the hallway, melded together like some gigantic kitty bowling ball. And my bedroom door? Their pins. They crash into it every hour on the hour... all. Night. Long.

And then, after they've torn each other apart into shreds of tired kitty flesh... they do this:





xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Monday, August 24, 2009

Pet Wars, Part I



Ever since Butters and Princess Vespa (yay! I finally decided on their names!) moved into my pad, my poor dog, Jax, has been paying the consequences.

What should I do? Keep the sequestered in separate rooms? Have a doggie "time-out" and a kitty "time-out" chair? I've heard cats usually take leadership role when cohabiting with dogs... I never thought my two-month old kittens would be kicking my two-year old dog's ass.

Ah, a pet-Mommy's work is never done...

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Sunday, August 23, 2009

What Shall I Name My Pussies?

I've recently adopted to new kittens from the pound...



And I'm now searching for names. I've always been a "dog person," you know? Someone who enjoys the friendly, interactive, clingy nature of puppies. Someone who loves having a mute, stick-chewing, ball-catching buddy around. But since my new apartment doesn't allow dogs, I had to settled for cats... and I must say, these two are turning out to be my new best friends.

But what to call them? My list so far:

1) Butters and Princess Vespa (from "South Park" and "Spaceballs," of course)
2) Bubbles and Spot
3) Hairy and Snatch
4) Lord Takealeak and Lady Grabbermuffin
5) Karl and Marx
6) Siegfried and Roy, or...
7) Criss Angel and Mindfreak

What to choose? What to choooooose?

xoxo,

Rebel Deb

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Behold! The Power of Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Dumber Dolls

Meatwad: "Frylock, where are the pills?"

Frylock:
"Pills! What do you need pills for?"

Meatwad: "Well Happy Time Harry needs 'em. He says that the pills make the phone calls go away."

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Dumber Dolls

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